When two people love each other
by NeuroticNerd
Summary: Are Harry and Snape supposed to do the whole babies and marriage thing? And if they are, how come Harry keeps panicking everytime someone mentions it? Sequel to Wanting You, but can be read separately. SS/HP SB/OC HG/RW minor HP/DT
1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1

Luna stuck her head out of the door. She looked quite pretty in the bridesmaids dress. "She wants Hermione…"

Hermione smiled at Harry and left. There was a shriek and a thump and Luna stuck her head out again. "She says she wants Harry."

Harry smiled at the woman sitting next to him in the hall and walked into the room. It was a mess of dark blue bridesmaids' dresses, makeup, flowers and in the middle of all of it Ginny sat in her white dress with her makeup smeared over her face.

"Harry!" she shrieked.

"Gin, what's wrong?" He sat down next to her.

"First it was you, then Dean... I just turn them gay! What if Draco..."

He laughed. "I don't think that's likely. And I'm not gay because of you. You know that!"

She smiled at him and then she picked up her bracelet and put it on her arm. She didn't notice how all the bridesmaids cringed as if she was going to throw it. Harry guessed by the bumps in the small metal ring that she actually _had _thrown it once or twice.

"You're right. You are. Oh, I'm so lucky to have you!" she said and threw her arms around him. 'Is she drunk?' he mimed to Hermione who shrugged.

Ginny stood up and the bridesmaids walked over to her cautiously. "Wow", Hermione whispered. "You dealt with that well."

Harry grinned. "I guess. But I bet she'll be back to shouting in a few minutes."

"Probably. I don't blame her though. She's getting married, that's big."

"Yeah, can you imagine? Little Ginny Weasley is getting married! I remember when I first met her. I can't believe that was eight years ago."

That little freckled girl that had pouted about being left behind when all her brothers had gone off to Hogwarts. Harry remembered her running alongside the train.

Hermione smiled. "Unbelievable. Hey, did you hear all the bridesmaids sighing when you said you where gay?"

"No, I didn't", Harry said and winked at a passing brown-haired girl. She blushed and yelped.

"That was nasty, Harry. Now she's gonna get her hopes up!" Hermione said and slapped Harry on the arm.

"She _just_ heard me say I was gay!"

"Fine, but you still shouldn't go around flirting with people. What will Snape say?" she said and smiled. Harry still thought it was weird hearing it, Hermione must think it was really, really weird saying it.

Harry looked at his watch. "Right. I was supposed to meet him outside! I'll see you later, 'kay?"

She nodded and went pale when Ginny made a glass shoot into the wall and smash. "Go. Go, save yourself!"

Harry slipped out the room just in time to hear another glass smash against the door.

"Hi", he mumbled to the woman in the hall who had a shocked look on her face.

He walked through the hall to the bigger room where the wedding would be held. It was full of Weasley's getting it ready. They were in the church in the town downhill from the Burrow. Not that the Weasley were such big believers in God – wizards and witches mostly left that to the muggles – but it was the biggest empty space in the village. It was in the outskirts of town but they had still put some disillusionment spells on it.

"Harry? Is she still...?" Ron asked. He was levitating the chairs in to place.

"Yeah. It looks like she's calming down a bit though."

Harry walked out in the sunshine. It was perfect weather, not too hot and not too cold. There was a gentle wind and Harry smiled against it. There were gravestones scattered around the church and by a big grey one covered with moss he saw Snape, talking to two people, both with the same blonde, almost white, hair. Harry was surprised they'd actually shown up. They had seemed pretty pissed off when Malfoy had gotten together with Ginny.

"Hi", he said and walked up next to Snape. Snape smiled and Harry felt his hand brush by his own hand.

"Good morning", Narcissa said. Could he call her Narcissa? He didn't care, really. But she had saved his life so... Narcissa it was. And it had probably been her who had convinced Lucius to come to the wedding. And atleast she tried to be nice to both Harry and Snape. Lucius just stood there, a disgusted look on his face. He had actually gone to prison for a while and it showed. But only a very short time. Harry guessed it payed off to bribe people. But then again, why would people do it if it didn't pay off? Anyway he looked even paler than usual, and it showed that he had lost a bit of weight.

"Mother. Father."

Draco came up to them, nodding to his parents. He wore the traditional black robes that wizards wore when they got married.

"How was she?" he asked. He looked pale too, but Harry guessed it was from nervousness.

"She's calmed down a bit", Harry said. Draco nodded and swallowed.

"Severus?" Harry said and nodded at the church. "They might need our help."

They said goodbye to the Malfoys and left them in awkward silence.

"God, I still get uncomfortable around them", Harry said and shivered.

"Hm", Snape said.

Harry looked around. No one was looking. "Hey, come on", he said to Snape who looked puzzled and Harry continued. "You didn't really think we were going to help with the preparations, did you?"

He pushed Snape behind an old gardening shed that on two sides faced the small patch of trees behind the church. Snape kissed him hurriedly.

"When does the ceremony start?" he breathed against Harry's cheek.

"Not for another half hour."

Harry grinned and his hand slipped under Snape's robes and into his pants. Snape moaned loudly and Harry grinned.

"We can't do this here, it's a bloody cemetary." Snape tried to push Harry's hands away.

"Oh, come on, I've got a hard-on that I'd love to get rid of before the wedding. Plus, we can give the stiffs a good show", Harry suggested.

"That's a rather horrible thing to say", Snape said but he was smiling and Harry knew he'd given in.

Harry kissed him again and ran his finger over the head of the other man's erection.

"Mm..." Snape moaned again. "I love you like this."

"Like what?" Harry murmured.

"Horny", Snape chuckled.

Harry squeezed around Snape's shaft and he gasped. "You should be more careful about what you say to the man holding your family jewels."

"Harry!" George shouted.

"We _thought_ we heard moaning." Fred showed up next to George.

Harry pulled his hands out of Snape's pants. "Fred, George! What are you doing here?"

"As we said, we heard moaning."

"And we found it our duty as good citizens to investigate the matter further."

"Well, make it your duty as good citizens to get out of here", Harry said and tried to shoo them away.

"And let you two youngsters get back to your mischief?"

"Not to mention the very obvious act of-"

"Yeah, yeah. We're coming."

They disappeared around the corner and Harry hissed, "The nasty buggers."

"We do not appreciate being called nasty buggers, Harry", was heard from the other side of the shed and Fred's head showed up.

"Yes, professor Snape, do try and teach him some manners!"

"I agree", Snape agreed. "Nasty."

The wedding was nice. Ginny looked beautiful and not so emotional and Malfoy looked handsome too. Hermione, Luna and Ginny's friend – Sirius' girlfriend – Amanda were bridesmaids along with some other girls and Blaise Zabini was Malfoy's best man. All the bridesmaids were dressed in dark blue and Ginny had little blue pearls in her hair to match.

It wasn't the same wizard who married Bill and Fleur and buried Dumbledore who performed the wedding, but it was a younger dark-haired man. He looked like a nice guy and apparently Malfoy knew him.

Both Ginny and Malfoy looked like they were going to cry but they didn't. But Harry was _sure_ he saw a little tear run down Malfoy's cheek when he gave Ginny her ring, even though Malfoy denied it later. Mr and Mrs Weasley cried their eyes out and Harry saw that Malfoy's mother had something glistening in her eyes too. Harry didn't cry but he had a firm grip on Snape's hand all through it.

All of the Weasleys were there, so Ginny's side of the church was jam-packed with redheads. Sirius sat on Harry's right side and Snape on his left. They shot glares at eachother over Harry's head. Harry comforted himself with that they atleast didn't openly fight. Neville was there with his brand new girlfriend Hannah Abbott and Dean and Seamus were there too. None of Ginny's ex-boyfriends other than Harry and Dean were there. Malfoy's side was pretty empty, except for his parents and a few Slytherins that Harry recognized, Goyle included.

After the ceremony they moved all the chairs to the side and Charlie swung his wand and a few tables appeared. It was easier than moving everyone to the Burrow where they wouldn't fit anyway. The cake was huge and adorned with small blue stars that moved over it slowly. It glistened when Ginny and Malfoy cut into it and there were 'ooh's and 'aah's in the crowd when the sparks flew high into the sky and eventually died out.

Then there was dancing and drinks. It had become dark before they stumbled home, Harry, Hermione and Ron to the burrow and Snape to his house. Ginny and Malfoy apparated to their hotel in London where they would be spending the night before they went off on their honeymoon. They were going to France and then Italy but Ginny had said that they might stop off at some other countries too. Ginny had taken some fast courses so she'd be able to graduate from Hogwarts a year before she was actually supposed to. That way she'd have lots of time for the honeymoon, for buying a house and all that too.

Harry fell asleep almost as soon as his head hit the pillow. It had been a long day.


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Hey, people! Don't know why I didn't write this in the first chapter, but hey, I'm writing it now! Anyway, I'm back with the sequel to Wanting You and I hope the ones who have read Wanting You won't be disappointed. The ones who are new to my fics: I hope you'll like it too, since it – as I said in the summary – can be read separately. But it wouldn't hurt to try reading the first one either, right? Well, anyway to all the new people: this fic takes place after the war and Harry is 19 or 20 (can't remember at the moment, so sorry). In Wanting You, Harry and the gang goes back to Hogwarts and re-do their seventh year and loads of exciting stuff happens as Harry tries to figure out how he actually feels about Snape. (They get together in the end, which you might have figured out by now.)**

**There will be a bit of fluffy angst in the end of this chapter and I hope you'll like it! And remember, I always enjoy reviews!**

Chapter 2

"Harry? You up?" a blurred creature that looked like Ron said. Harry put his glasses on. Yep, Ron.

"Well, I am now", Harry mumbled sleepily. "What's the time?"

"Dunno. Around eight o'clock."

Harry groaned. Way too early to be up. "What do you want?"

"Ginny's married. And Hermione looked so pretty..."

"Yes, I know that Ginny's married."

Ron sat down on Harry's bunk bed. "I just... I can't believe my little sis is married."

"Yeah, it's pretty unbelievable." Harry tried to pull the covers over his head.

"And..." Ron said something slurred.

"How long were you out last night?" Harry rubbed his eyes. He had gotten back at about two o'clock, but Ron had just went there to change his clothes and then he had gone out with Dean, Seamus and the twins. Harry'd just felt exhausted.

"A while", Ron said and grinned. "We went to this really cool..." he swayed and almost fell off the bed.

"I'm sorry I missed it", Harry mumbled. "You seem pretty drunk, Ron. Don't you think you should go to bed?" And leave your poor best friend to sleep?

"Hm... Yeah."

He stumbled off to his bed and fell on it, snoring even before he hit the bed.

Harry groaned again. His head felt like it was going to explode and he had a foul taste in his mouth. He really shouldn't have drunk all that firewhiskey. He wondered if Snape felt the same. But he hadn't drunk as much as Harry. He smiled. Snape. Now he couldn't fall asleep again so he pulled himself out of bed and stumbled downstairs to look for a hangover potion.

"Hey."

Mr Weasley was up and so was Hermione.

"You couldn't sleep either?"

Harry nodded and thought about saying something about Ron, but then he thought that Mr Weasley might not want to hear about his drunk son.

"You haven't got a hangover potion by any chance?"

Mr Weasley smiled knowingly. "Sure." He pointed to a few bottles of potion standing on the counter. Harry gulped one down and his head stopped pounding as much.

"Thanks. I needed it."

"You do look a bit... dishevelled", Hermione said and took a sip of her tea.

Harry laughed. "I bet you didn't look too good yourself this morning. How long have you two been up?"

"I woke up at six. Have to get up for work, you know. We've been terribly busy with..." he glanced down at his watch. "Oh, I have to get a move on. Don't want to be late!"

He left to apparate outside, Harry guessed.

"He has to work _now_?" Harry said and poured himself some tea.

"Yeah. The ministry's very short of people right now. Huge parts of the ministry is now devoted to find the deatheaters on the run, I've heard. Trying to make up for their actions during the war I guess", Hermione then looked up from her paper. "Hey, look at this."

She showed him an article on the third page that read something like,'Their love – real?'. There was a huge photo of Snape looking his normal skulking self and Harry holding his hand. "When did they take this?" Harry growled.

Hermione shrugged and then looked at him bleakly. "It's really awful, Harry. I don't think there's anything we can do."

"What? Can't we sue..." Harry looked at the name of the author of the article," Reena Fawklies? What kind of a shitty name is that anyway?"

She smiled. "Don't think so. And atleast they're not following you around. I heard about this famous guy, a muggle, the press threw in glass on his front yard so that his kids or someone would get hurt and they would get good pictures. I mean, can you believe that? It's horrible."

Harry sulked. That was a bit more horrible than what was happening to him. But the articles in the press weren't the worst thing. He had gotten several letters, most of them not so pleasant. Actually quite a few howlers too. He felt a bit sorry for the Weasleys, having to keep up with getting all that hatemail delivered to their house. And Snape had gotten even nastier ones, with vicious hexes on them. Fortunately he always checked his mail for spells before he opened them, so he hadn't gotten hurt or anything. But what if he forgot to do it one day?

…

Harry walked next to Snape in the dirty path up to Snape's house.

"I can't believe I've never seen your house", Harry mumbled. The hangover made him a little groggy and the hangover potion had only helped against the headache.

"It's not really my house. My parents bought it, and when they died I just..."

"You got stuck with it", Harry said and Snape nodded.

The house did look like something you just got stuck with. It was pretty small and looked abandoned. The paint was starting to come off and the windows really needed some cleaning. There wasn't really a yard, but trees and overgrown bushes in a crowded little patch of grass and weed.

Snape took out his wand and tapped the door. It swung open with ease.

There was a tiny, messy hall that was extremely dark in contrast to the sun outside. Harry stumbled in and managed to knock down a coathanger.

"Shit! Sorry!"

"It's fine", Snape said and disappeared down the hall through a door.

Harry tried to get the coathanger the way it was before, but gave up and stumbled after Snape. "Severus? Where did you go?"

"Sorry", Snape said from behind Harry and made him jump. "I was just putting some stuff away."

"Okay. This place is... A bit gloomy", Harry said and looked up at Snape to see if he'd taken offense. He didn't smile, but he didn't look angry either.

"Yes", he said. "It always has been."

The livingroom they'd walked into had books everywhere. _Everywhere. _The walls were lined with bookshelves and everywhere else, the coffetables, the sofa, the floor, had piles of books stacked on them. It seemed more like a storage place than a home.

"Do you bring Morgana here or do you keep her at Hogwarts all the time?" Harry asked and picked up a book with a flower on the front.

Morgana was Snape's snake, Harry had met her a few times when he'd kept her at his quarters at Hogwarts.

Snape touched Harry's back. "She... She died."

Harry turned around and looked up at Snape. "What?"

"She was old", Snape said quietly.

"Why... Why haven't you told me?"

Snape took the book with the flower from Harry and put it down on the table again. "There was alot going on. The wedding and..."

"Ginny and Malfoy's wedding, yeah. It's not like I had that much to do with it."

Harry realised how angry he sounded and tried to stop himself. It wasn't like it was Snape's fault the snake was dead, and the death was probably the main reason why he was angry.

"Harry", Snape said and he sounded annoyed.

"I'm sorry."

"Sure. Can we leave now?" he said and stroked Harry's cheek.

"No, I haven't seen your room yet, have I?" Harry said with a smirk.

…. …

Harry lay staring up at the grey ceiling of Snape's room with Snape's warm form lying next to him. Snape's arm was casually draped over Harry's chest and he was breathing softly.

"Severus? You awake?"

"No. And neither should you be. It's", Snape turned to the clock next to his bed, "Three in the morning."

Harry smiled and rubbed his eyes. They'd ended up spending the night at Snape's house. Snape sighed. "What did you want?"

"Have you always lived here?" Harry asked and turned to Snape.

"Yes", he said and stroked Harry's cheek.

"Did... When did your parents die?"

Snape's hand disappeared from Harry's cheek and Harry missed the warmth. Why did he always have to be so curious? It _always _ended badly.

"My mum died when I was 22, but the last time I talked to her was when I was 18", Snape said. Harry was surprised. That was probably the longest sentence Snape had ever uttered about either of his parents.

"Why?" Harry asked and Snape closed his eyes before answering.

"She didn't exactly like me being a deatheater, so I... Ran away, you could say. To join him."

"And your dad?"

Snape smiled a bit. "He died when I was... 31, I think."

"Did he hit your mother too?" Harry asked and ran his fingers down the long scar on Snapes stomach.

"Yes. And she wouldn't... She was weak. So was I", Snape said harshly.

Harry breathed out quietly before he asked. "When you ran away, was that when he... gave you this?" Harry put his palm down on the scar. He could feel Snape's chest rising and falling as he breathed.

"Yes. I came back to get my things before leaving and they were there. He was drunk, as usual. They were fighting, I don't even remember why. He hit her and I... I got so angry. I never, never, said anything to him about hitting her. It was..."

"You were scared. You didn't want him to hit you", Harry said and Snape nodded.

"Yes. But this time I hit him. Hard", Snape smiled at the memory. "He got so furious. He pushed me into the kitchen counter... I don't even think he meant to hurt me. Not that time."

Harry moved closer to Snape and turned his back to him. He snuggled closer against his chest. "Okay."

Snape's grip tightened around Harry and he buried his nose in the crook of Harry's neck.

….

**A/N: Okay, then! So review, sweeties!**


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: So, chapter three! ****Hope you'll like it!**

Chapter 3

"A cabin? Since when do you have a cabin?" Harry asked Sirius and his girlfriend Amanda, that had apparently decided to permanently attach herself to Sirius' neck.

"Apparently my dad bought it when he was young. We went up to look at the place and it's actually pretty okay", Sirius said. "Hey, Mandy, could you get me a cup of tea?"

"Sure, sweetie!" she said and beamed as she almost skipped off to the kitchen.

"So? You wanna come, cub?" Sirius said and smiled at Amanda's back disappearing around the corner.

God, Harry could puke, they were just so... cute. All the time. You got pretty sick of it.

"To the cabin?"

"Yeah! For the weekend. Bring Hermione and Ron too."

"And Severus?" Harry said and Sirius' smile wavered a little.

"Sure. Fine", he said and smiled at Amanda as she hopped down on his lap, a cup of tea in her hand.

"So? Did you ask him?" she said and looked expectantly at Sirius.

Harry wanted to scream that he was right there, that she could just ask him, but then he remembered he was talking to Amanda – the girl that had made sweetness and extremely silly nicknames an art.

"Yeah", Sirius said and turned to Harry.

"Of course I'll come", Harry said and forced a smile.

Amanda shrieked happily. "The house has an open fire so you can floo there around noon on Saturday, would that be good?"

"Sounds great", Harry smiled.

….

Harry knocked on the door to Snape's house and it swung open almost immediately.

"Yes?" Snape said rather unpleasantly but when he saw it was Harry he lightened up. "Oh. Hey. What are you doing here?"

"I just wanted to see you", Harry said and leaned against the door frame.

"Really?"

"Yes, really. Don't sound so suspicious", Harry said and pushed past Snape into the house. "But, yeah there was one thing."

Snape smiled as he slid the door shut. "Why am I not surprised?"

Harry grinned and pushed Snape against the door. He kissed him roughly and then broke away, Snape's hand still behind his neck.

"Sirius asked me if we wanted to come to his cabin", Harry threw out.

Snape sighed and leaned his head against the door. "What?"

"It's just Saturday to Sunday. Maybe Monday too."

"No. Fuck, no", Snape said and Harry cringed. When Snape saw it he said, "I'm sorry. But no."

"Please", Harry said and pressed against Snape.

"No. I won't spend a weekend with that ass!"

Harry sighed and backed off. "Fine. Okay, then. You don't have to."

"Harry..."

"Look, it's fine."

"Fine then. I'll come."

Harry smiled. "You will?"

"You know I will", Snape said and kissed Harry's jaw. "You always get me when you use that tone."

…..

The cabin was huge. It was right by the lake in a secluded part of some forest in the east part of England. There were atleast 15 rooms in it and they were needed. Besides Amanda, Sirius, Harry and Snape, Neville was there with Hannah Abbot, Hermione and Ron had said yes to coming and Luna had tagged along.

Harry and Snape arrived last so they "got stuck" with the smallest room, but the smallest room turned out to be atleast twice the size of Ron's room, which Harry'd shared with Ron for most of the summer. Snape had smirked at Sirius' look when he realized that they'd be sharing a room, and Harry actually had too. He was so sick of Sirius and Amanda walking around so sweet and mushy and Sirius then being such an ass to Snape. Because he really was. On good days he just stood and sulked, but on bad days he either completely ignored or threw evil insults at Snape. It was nasty, seeing Sirius, whom he loved, being so mean to Snape, whom he also loved. He loved him, he thought as he unpacked his things into the cupboard, and smiled. He couldn't help smiling when Snape snuck in to his thoughts, it didn't matter what he thought about.

"Hey, Harry", Luna said from the door.

"Hi", Harry said with a smile. "This place is pretty cool, don't you think?"

"Mm. It sure is big", she said, her big, bright eyes searching the room.

There was a noise downstairs that made her jump.

"What was that?" Harry asked.

"Oh, right. I'm supposed to tell you that Professor Snape and Professor Black are fighting."

Sirius had taught Defense Against the Dark Arts their last year and Luna had never stopped calling him professor.

"No, crap", Harry said and darted out the room and down the stairs. He found Sirius and Snape in the kitchen, he just had to follow the sound of glass shattering.

"You get the fuck away from him, Snivellus!" Sirius shouted at the growling Snape.

"Can't you two be in the same room for five minutes without fighting?" Harry shouted and Sirius and Snape looked at him. So did Amanda, Neville and Hannah. Harry's eyes darted back and forth between Sirius and Snape and the others and then he grabbed the two older men by the sleeve and pulled them out of there to the enormous bathroom on the ground floor.

"Why?" he said and tried to sound calm, even though it was pretty obvious he wasn't.

"He shouldn't be doing this to you, Harry!" Sirius snarled.

"Doing what? He's not doing anything wrong! _We're_ not doing anything wrong!" Harry shouted angrily. "Can't you just understand that?"

"_You_ need to understand!"

"No, fuck you, Sirius!" Harry screamed and hot water came gushing out of the tap. Snape took out his wand and swung it in the general direction of the tap, making it stop. Harry lowered his voice for the next sentence, "I'm not having this discussion. Try to get along! It's just one weekend. Even you stupid asses should be able to do that."

Then he opened the door and it banged against the wall, crushing a painting of something that Harry probably didn't give a shit about. He heard both Sirius and Snape shouting something after him, but he ran out through the door, out into the sunshine and fresh air outside.

…..

He sat there for he didn't know how long. He sat behind the house looking out at the lake. It was pretty, very pretty. There was no wind, probably because of the many spells Sirius' father had put on the place, so the lake was perfectly still. Like a mirror, with the reflection of the sky and the trees making it look clear blue and on some places a deep green. It was beautiful.

"Harry?" Hermione said carefully.

He turned his head to look at her and Ron.

"Hey, we're going to go down to the lake. You comin'?"

"Sure", Harry said and got up. It was nice to have friends who understood just to drop it.

Ron lit up. "Good. You're gonna have to convince Snape to come, though. He doesn't seem too happy about swimming."

….

Snape wasn't too happy about swimming. He wasn't happy at all, actually. Harry literally had to force him to get changed into the black swimming trunks Harry had brought for him.

"Come on. I will get you into that water, Severus Snape."

"No. I'm not _going swimming_." He pronounced the last words in a disgusted tone that made Harry laugh.

"Yes, you are", Harry laughed.

Then Snape looked at him with such a desperate face that Harry said, "You don't have too, but it would make me happy. But I'm not forcing you, okay?"

Snape nodded.

"Okay?" Harry asked again.

"Yes. Fine. Let's _go swim._"

Everyone was waiting for them at the lake and Ron, Hermione, Neville and Hannah had already dived in. Harry could see them laughing and splashing around in the water. There was a small dock that you could dive from, but there was also a slightly too stoney beach.

Amanda, Sirius and Luna sat on the beach when Harry and Snape got down.

"Hello. This really isn't good weather for swimming. Everyone knows that the grudgeon comes out on days like these", Luna said and gazed up at the slightly cloudy sky.

"Hey", Harry said and threw his towel on the ground next to the big blanket Sirius and Amanda had spread out. "You wanna wait a minute or should we dive right in?" Harry asked Snape quietly.

"I want to wait, but you can go swim if you want to."

"No, I'll stay with you", Harry said and lay down on the blanket.

Snape sat down stiffly and Harry looked at the uncomfortable look on his face. Then his eyes travelled down to the pale chest littered with scars, both small and big, from cuts or burns. Was it being naked that made him uncomfortable, or was it something else? Harry wondered. What if he couldn't swim? No, no, Harry'd seen him swim before, in the tub in Snape's quarters (Snape called it a tub but it was more of a pool.)

Harry lay there, listening to Luna explain to Amanda what a grudgeon was, and after a while Sirius exclaimed that he was tired of lying around and that he was going to dive in and to Harry's surprise, Snape stood up too. He gave Harry his hand and Harry pulled himself up.

Sirius ran ahead and Harry heard a splash when he hit the water.

"Is it warm, Sirius?" Harry shouted and got a gargle as a response.

Harry laughed and ran up to the edge. The water was clear but the lake was very deep, you couldn't see all the way to the bottom. Sirius' dive had made the water ripple so Harry's reflection was wavy.

"Severus, you jump in first."

"No", Snape said and backed away from the edge.

"Come on!" Harry whined.

"No", Snape laughed and pushed Harry forward, closer to the edge.

"Yes!" Harry shrieked when he stumbled over the edge and managed to grab Snape's wrist, tugging him along. The water was warm, but Harry managed to land directly on his face leaving him with a stinging face and a mouth full of water. He spluttered out some curse words to Snape's delight.


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: Hi, I'm back with chapter four of our lovely little story. Hope you've all had a wonderful summer so far! Enjoy the chapter!**

Chapter 4

Harry was exhausted. They had been in the water until it started getting dark and they'd thought it was maybe time to get up. Harry was so wrinkly that he looked like a raisin. Well, he wasn't all blue-black, or small and round, but still.

Far away, Ron laughed at Neville's poor throw and ran off to get the ball. Ron had brought an old football that his dad had been experimenting on. It worked pretty well, except for the time where it went around like a boomerang and hit Neville in the face. Ron really should learn not to mess with his dad's experiments.

Amanda and Hannah had gone up to the house to start dinner and Luna and Hermione were having a heated discussion about wether the grudgeon actually existed.

Harry had a bad feeling. He didn't know why, he just felt bad. It was like when you've forgotten something and you knew it. There was something, but he couldn't put his finger on it. He knew something bad was going to happen and that made him just want to crawl up next to Snape and close his eyes. But Snape was wet and cold, therefore very uninviting and pretty pissed off at Harry for making him jump in the water.

Sirius gulped down a mouthful of butterbeer and glared at Snape. "Would you atleast cover it up?" he said in a spiteful tone.

At first Harry didn't understand what he was talking about but when Snape looked down at his left arm, at the pale Dark Mark, he got it. And he just got so tired. He didn't want to be furious, he just wanted it all to go away, for him to not care. He wanted to sleep, not to have to defend anyone. He buried his hands in the sand and pressed his eyes shut as Snape shot an evil remark back at Sirius. He could hear how Luna and Hermione had gone silent, waiting for Harry to interrupt them, to start shouting. When had he become the guy who everybody expected to scream and shout? Maybe they were just waiting for him to make it okay again, but he'd never been able to do that. There wasn't anything about Harry's life that was okay, atleast not in that moment.

No. Harry didn't have the strength to do any of that. Not now. It was their problem, not his. He had nothing to do with it, he tried to convince himself but failed miserably.

"Harry! Stop, you're melting the sand!" Hermione shouted and Harry looked up. She was right, he was. The sand around his hands was melting and when he removed his hands it hardened and became clear and transparent, like glass. His hands were okay though, he noticed as he rubbed his eyes.

"Sorry", he mumbled and then Ron and Neville came, they'd heard Hermione's shouting.

"What are you doing? What's wrong?" Neville asked and looked between them.

"Well, the professors started fighting again", Luna said absently, "and I guess Harry got upset and he melted the sand. See?" she ended and pointed at the lumps of melted sand.

Ron looked pale and maybe angry too while Neville just looked shocked.

"It's nothing. We're fine now", Harry said.

No, they weren't fine. They were messed up, Harry most of all. Harry was not fine. Harry was angry, Harry was... So close to giving up.

….

Amanda and Hannah talked most of all during dinner. Apparently Hannah was training to be a healer and Amanda's father, a muggle, was a doctor so they spent alot of time comparing the two professions. Harry was quiet and Hermione was the only one who even tried to join in in the conversation. Neville seemed nervous and kept glancing between Harry, Snape and Sirius. Harry got so sick of it that he just picked at his food. All he wanted was to sleep and anything keeping him from doing that was a waste of time. He really wasn't in a good mood, and not even Amanda and Hannah's sad faces when he left his plate full of food could make him feel like apologizing.

Sirius found him in the library, reading a random book he'd found on one of the dusty shelves. The words didn't seem to stick, but he didn't go back to read them again. It was more like counting, something safe to do and something that kept him from thinking to much about anything.

"Harry", Sirius began and Harry looked up. "I'm sorry."

Harry nodded. Why was he saying he was sorry to Harry? He should talk to Snape.

"Are you all right?" he asked and sat down in the arm chair next to Harry's.

"Sure", Harry said shortly and dived back into the book.

Sirius said something more, but Harry didn't listen. He only looked up at Sirius' back disappearing around the corner and then he was alone again. What a great first day in the cabin.

…

He stumbles in the dark trying to grab a hold of something, anything, but there's nothing there. No one's there. Nothing except the darkness, swallowing him, suffocating him. He gasps for air but can't make himself breathe. His lungs won't work. He doesn't understand, why can't he breathe? He claws at the darkness, but nothing happens. The air is so close, he knows that. Of course he knows that, he can feel it. On his lips, against his skin... He's getting desperate. He needs something. Air, a ray of light, something to hold on to. But he's all alone. In the darkness.

Harry woke up in the arm chair in the library, swetting and out of breath. But atleast he could breathe. And there was no pressing darkness. The moon lit up the room, reflecting in the glasses he'd dropped on the floor. Everything was just a blur and when he slid the glasses over he discovered he wasn't alone.

"Luna? Is that you?" he asked and his voice was croaky.

"Mmhm. You were moaning in your sleep", she said and her eyes seemed even more huge in the moonlight.

"Yeah. I had a bad dream. Why are you up?" he asked and sat up straight in the arm chair.

"Couldn't sleep. Plus, my room's next to Amanda and Professor Black's."

Harry made a face. "Oh. Are they...?"

"Yeah. They're pretty loud too. Or the walls are thin. I should find out", she added thoughtfully. Harry imagined that conversation, 'Is your lovemaking very loud or are the walls just thin?' With Luna scribbling down notes.

"Did not need to know that", Harry said, but smiled.

"Hm", she mumbled and looked around in the dark. "I wonder if they have 'Harold's guide to mystical creatures' here. I've been looking for it, it has some pages about the hogswagger."

Then she started walking away to look for her book, but Harry grabbed her wrist. "Please, can you stay? Luna?"

She looked at him strangely and then smiled. "Why don't you go and see if Severus is awake?"

The change to Snape's first name startled him but then he smiled. She was right, he should. She was very clever sometimes.

"Yeah. And you'll be okay if I leave you?"

She nodded and walked off. Harry sat in the dark room, listening to her footsteps before he decided to go to Harry's and Snape's room. The rest of the house was quiet, Harry guessed that Amanda and Sirius had stopped their... shenanigans. He reached their room after getting lost atleast three times in the long corridors of the dark house. He didn't knock on the door, but slipped in quietly.

"Severus?" Harry whispered. "You awake?"

"No", Snape answered and his voice made Harry able to find the bed. He sat down on it, not bothering to take his clothes off.

"I'm sorry. If you want to leave, you can. I..."

"You can't do that!" Snape hissed. "You can't force me to go here and then change your mind!"

"I'm sorry", Harry began, but Snape interrupted him.

"No. Don't say you're sorry. I'm just... tired", Snape said and rubbed his eyes.

Harry found Snape's face in the dark and leaned his forehead against Snape's. "Me too."

"So where were you?" Snape asked after kissing Harry softly on the lips.

"I fell asleep in the library", Harry said and Snape smiled as he kissed down Harry's neck. "Please... Can we just sleep?"

Snape shifted so that he was lying down, Harry leaning against his chest.

"I love you", Harry said and then wrinkled his face together. Why? Gah! They'd never said _that _to each other. So why did he have to say it now? Why did he have to say such stupid things? It was too much!

Snape was quiet for an excrutiatingly long time and then he breathed out before saying, "I love you too."

There was a slight hitch in his voice right before 'love', but he'd said it and Harry wasn't tired at all anymore. He turned around and watched Snape open his mouth again to say, "Marry me."

…..

**A/N: Duhnuhnuhnuh! Cliffhanger! So, do you think Harry'll say yes or no? Review and tell me what you thought about the chapter and what you think is gonna happen! **


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

"What?" Harry got out.

Snape kissed Harry hard and his hands nailed Harry to the bed. "Marry me."

"I..." Harry said and he could have swore that his mouth was a perfect O. "What?" he asked again, stunned.

"It's fine. You don't have to..." Snape's voice died out.

"Why would you... Think of that?"

God, he must be making Snape uncomfortable. This was not how one was supposed to react to a proposal. _A marriage proposal_, Harry repeated in his head. Wow.

"I don't know", Snape said. Harry didn't dare to look at him but his voice had a tone of 'petrified' in it.

"I'm... Can I have some time to think it over?" Harry asked, still completely stunned.

"Don't... I... I don't know what I thought", Snape said. Harry had never seen him like this. He was nervous, and looked mortified.

"I'll think about it", Harry said.

And then they lay there, quiet and tense. Harry must have fallen asleep at some point, because suddenly the room was full of sunshine and he couldn't remember the sun even starting to rise. But then Snape moved and went to get his clothes.

Marriage. Could he imagine being married to Snape? Sure. Well, he thought so. Coming home to Snape. Would there be kids? Hm, a little boy or girl with either Snape's lean or Harry's messy black hair. He thought about the playbroom he'd gotten from Sirius when he was a kid. The one he'd seen in the picture that his mother had sent to Sirius, together with the letter he'd found in Grimauld place. Would his child have one of those? No, he couldn't think of that. Snape had only asked him to marry him. Yeah, 'only to marry him'. No kids. Not yet. That last sentence made Harry want to run out of the room and scream in panic.

"Severus... If I say no, will we still be..." Harry asked carefully.

Snape stopped what he was doing, with his back against Harry. "Can we just forget this? It was just a... I just..."

"No", Harry laughed at how ridiculous the situation was. "I can't just forget that you asked me to marry you. But it's... a lot to think about, right now. I mean we've only been together for what... a few months and then you spring this on me."

Snape suddenly sat down in the bed and stroked Harry's cheek, the determination back in his eyes. "Say yes."

…

"Harry. Pass me the butter, will you?" Hermione said and Harry snapped to attention.

"You okay, Harry? You seem a bit distracted", Ron said and Harry locked eyes with Snape.

"Mm. Maybe."

"So!" Amanda exclaimed and stood up at the breakfast table. "As you see it's started raining, but I've packed alot of indoor activities."

Hah, indoor activities. Amanda sure knew alot of those.

"And of course there's the library and there's... a pool? Right, sweetie?"

Sirius swallowed a bite of his sandwich. "Yeah. It works, but might need a few cleaning spells first."

"Okay. So... Good. And we're all fucking tired of you two fighting, okay, so just quit it", she added with a stern look at Sirius and Snape. A good thing about Amanda was that she was very straightforward.

Harry looked down at his food. How would Sirius react if Harry and Snape got married? Probably with a lot of shouting. It felt horrible that he wanted Sirius' approval so much. Sirius used to be so nice, like a father to Harry, would this have to ruin everything?

"Harry? Hello?" Hermione waved her hand infront of Harry's face.

"Yeah. Sorry, what?"

"A few of us are going to the library. You in?"

"Where's Severus?" Harry asked.

"Severus, Sirius, Luna and Amanda went off to clear the room in the west corridor. Apparently there are some pretty nasty spells on some cupboard there", she listed and then added, "You really need to listen when we talk", and pulled Harry up from his seat.

…

The library was pretty big, so it was easy for Harry to stay away from 'the Nightmare chair' as he'd named it. Hermione, Ron, Hannah and Harry found a group of sofas and arm chairs in the left part of the library, next to the huge windows. It really was pouring outside, the sky was a dark grey and the lake wasn't nearly as still as it had been the day before. The wind and rain made it ripple and waves crashed up on the beach. Harry wondered if the clumps of glass were still there.

"Wow, I've been looking for this forever!" Hannah exclaimed and opened a red leather book.

Neville said something about looking around for some herbology book and Ron sat down, bitterly asking himself why he'd come.

"Ron, wanna go off look for quidditch books? I thought I saw some over there", Harry said and pointed in a random direction. There were no quidditch books; he just wanted Ron for himself. He needed to talk things through. Really talk things through.

They walked off to a pair of shelves far away from the others. This part of the library was quiet, only the drizzle of the rain and a few distant noises, like the rustling of pages being turned.

Ron seemed happy to be away from the 'little booklovers' club' as he called it.

"Ron?" Harry said and Ron turned to him, with a smile. "I need to talk to you."

Ron wrinkled his forehead. "Sure, mate. Is it about Snape and Sirius? 'Cus Sirius is just being... This whole Snape-thing takes some getting used to."

"No, it's not about that."

Both Ron and Harry were quiet. "So? What is it then?" Ron finally asked.

Harry leaned in and whispered, "Severus asked me to marry him."

Ron looked as shocked as Harry had felt when Snape had first asked him.

"Yeah, I know", Harry groaned.

"Why?" Ron spluttered.

"He says he loves me. And I love him. That should be enough, right?" Harry asked but Ron only shrugged.

"How did he ask?" Ron said after a while. "When?"

"Last night. He just said 'marry me'."

"Hm... That was frank. Very straightforward", Ron said thoughtfully. Then he exclaimed, "You're not pregnant, are you?"

"Shh, Ron! Shut up. No, I'm not pregnant."

Ron went pale. "And Snape isn't...?"

"No", Harry laughed. Snape couldn't be pregnant, he was almost always 'on top'. No, _always '_on top'.

"So what did you say?"

"I said I had to think about it. Oh, god, he must be so... I mean, you're not supposed to say 'I'm gonna think about it', when someone asks you to marry them, are you?"

"I don't know", Ron said with a compassionate look. "Probably not."

You don't say that when it's true love. Never in any romantic film, had the star who had just been swept of his or her feet, said 'hm, can I think about it?'. Did that mean what Harry and Snape had wasn't true love? What was true love anyway, Harry thought bitterly. Just something in silly movies.

"I should have said yes, shouldn't I?" Harry groaned.

"Only if you want to marry him. Do you... want that?" Ron asked and pulled a book down from a shelf. Harry couldn't help smiling at how he was trying to be nonchalant asking the question.

"I... I don't know", Harry mumbled and cupped his hands over his face. "God, it was just so good there for a while. Why did he have to ask that? It fucks up everything."

Ron was quiet; a tense kind of quiet and that made Harry put his hands down from his face. There was Snape, at the end of the row of book shelves. He had a book in his hand and he walked past Harry to put it on the shelf next to him.

"Severus..." Harry began but Snape ignored him.

Why did he have to say that? Snape had obviously heard him. It must have sounded like he didn't want to marry him at all. He did want to! Atleast he thought so. He just wanted to think. One part of his brain was saying one thing and another part was saying something else. Getting married was big, not just something you decided over night. He wanted to be sure. Really, really certain that Snape was really who he wanted to be with.

"Severus, please-" Harry said to Snape's disappearing back.

"Shit", Harry mumbled and then turned to Ron. "Sorry, I think I have to talk to him."

Ron nodded. "Sure. Look, you should talk to Hermione about this. If you still have a hard time deciding. But I... He makes you happy, right?" Ron ended.

"Yeah. He does. Thanks, Ron", Harry said and smiled weakly.

…

"Severus, I didn't..." Harry said over the drizzle of the shower.

The bathroom was hot and full of steam. Harry's glasses kept getting foggy and he had to dry them off every few minutes.

"I'm showering. Why are you here?" Snape asked and turned the water off. Harry could vaguely distinguish his shadow through the shower curtains.

"I didn't..." Harry began again.

"What? Know I was there? Or didn't you mean it?" he said sharply and an arm reached out from the shower curtains to grab a towel.

Harry waited for the towel clad Snape to step out of the shower.

"Severus. I know I shouldn't have said that. It's just... I have to be..." Harry said but Snape pushed him out of the way.

"Please, don't be mad", Harry mumbled.

"You say you love me. Is that..." Snape said quietly and finally looked straight at Harry. "Was that just a lie?"

"No. No, it's not a lie! I love you. I just need to be sure. Can't you understand that?"

Snape shook his head and sighed.

"Don't rush me. Please."

"I don't see why this is so hard", Snape said and ran a hand through his still wet hair.

"I'm sorry", Harry said and put a hand on Snape's chest.

"I shouldn't have asked you…" Snape said quietly and Harry smiled.

"You didn't exactly ask. You kinda demanded."

Snape smiled. "Sorry. And I don't mean to rush you."

"But I..." Harry started but gave up trying to explain what he was feeling. "What were you doing in the library anyway?"

Snape pulled away from Harry and reached in to the cupboard for something. It could be interpreted as just reaching in to the cupboard, but Harry knew Snape well enough to see that it wasn't just that.

Harry closed his eyes and clenched his jaw involuntarily. "Was Sirius being an ass again?"

Snape glanced at himself in the tall bathroom mirror, that had to have had an antifog spell on it, and then reached his hand out to Harry. He smiled, "Come here."

Harry noticed the change of subject, but smiled too. There was nothing wrong with being a little happy sometimes, even if it meant ignoring reality for a while.

He moved in front of the mirror and looked at the two people there. Harry looked tired, he wasn't smiling anymore. Snape was a little taller than him, so he looked over Harry's shoulder. He was still wet from the shower and when he pressed against Harry's back, Harry felt the water soak through the back of his T-shirt. He was warm and... Something else that Harry couldn't put his finger on. Snape kissed his neck softly and then leaned his chin against Harry's shoulder. His arms snaked around Harry's waist and Harry put his hand up to stroke Snape's cheek. He felt Snape's breath on his neck as he whispered something that sounded like 'I love you'. Frankly Harry didn't care what he said; he knew that he loved him. It was... He knew, just by the way Snape was holding him and it felt so good. To know.

Why couldn't they just stay like this? It was so perfect, so warm, so safe to just stay there. But they couldn't just stay there and eventually Snape's arms slid away from him. "Are we leaving tomorrow?"

"Yes", Harry breathed.

"Okay, I'll go pack up my things", Snape said and turned to leave.

"No. No, I didn't mean it like that. I meant _yes._ I say yes. Yes to marrying you."

**A/N: Real nail biter. Anyway, thanks for the lovely reviews and the not so lovely reviews. Criticism is good, when it's something I can improve. I know my spelling wasn't the best in Wanting You, but I think I've gotten better at it? Hope you liked the chapter. **


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6

The last dinner in the cabin was wonderful. Amanda and Hannah had outdone themselves. It was like a dinner at Hogwarts, everything was there. Grilled chicken, caseroles, all sorts of potatoes, and for dessert... Every pie that you could want, icecream and chocolate in every form. Harry got a seat between Snape and Hannah, and that was nice. Hannah was a really nice girl, and clever too. It was a pleasant mood in the big dining room. Everyone laughed and talked, even Sirius. He seemed very happy for some reason. He even joked with Snape. Joked _with _Snape, not _about _Snape. Snape even replied curtly. Merlin, Harry thought. Where had the world gone?

And then they were finished and they all went to the livingroom. It was huge, like the rest of the house. There were bookcases there too, but the room was dominated by a huge fireplace. Around it there were mismatched sofas, armchairs and little tables. There still wasn't room for all nine of them so Harry and Ron sat on the floor. Harry leaned against Snape's legs and Ron sat closest to the fireplace, his back to the warm, crackling fire. The room didn't have any windows, so the fire gave everything freakishly long shadows.

"Hey", Snape whispered, "Do you remember the first night in my quarters?"

Harry smiled. Of course he did, it had been his first time. "We should do that again some time", Harry said suggestively.

"We could go to our room and do that right now", Snape said and his fingers ghosted in Harry's neck.

"Horny?" Harry asked teasingly and Snape responded by slipping his fingers under the collar of Harry's shirt.

Harry reached up and grabbed Snape's hand. "Later, okay?"

He looked up at Snape who leaned back in his chair. "Okay."

"Professor Black", Luna started but Sirius interrupted her.

"You can call me Sirius. Really, call me Sirius."

"But you're my professor", Luna said. She was sitting with a straight back, wedged in between Hannah and Neville, who kept looking longingly at eachother. But, of course, Luna was completely unaware of that.

Both Sirius and Amanda smiled secretively and looked at eachother. "Not anymore. And probably not for a while", Sirius said.

"Why?" Hermione asked and looked between them.

"Well..." Sirius began and then turned to Amanda. "Should we tell them?"

"Yeah, let's tell them", Amanda said and put a hand on her stomach, rubbing it in circles. What a strange thing to do, Harry thought.

"We're pregnant!" Sirius said and he was beaming with joy and pride. But Harry didn't notice, he was busy coughing his lungs out.

"Oh my god!" he said before he could stop himself. And it wasn't a good 'oh my god', but a 'oh my god, should you be allowed to procreate?'. But then he added, "That's so great!"

Harry heard Snape laugh and then say something that sounded like, "Nice save."

Harry pinched his leg and that shut him up.

"So, how far gone are you?" Hermione asked, probably just to smooth Harry's comment over.

Amanda grinned as Sirius ran his fingers through her blond hair. "Well, we think about four months."

"You've been having some morning sickness then?" Hannah asked.

"No, actually not", Amanda said.

No, of course not. Amanda and Sirius, the perfect couple... Of course they'd have the perfect pregnancy.

"Is it a boy or a girl?" Snape asked, to Harry's surprise.

"We don't know yet", Sirius said and put a protective hand on Amanda's hand, helping her stroke her stomach. Helping her stroke her stomach? Come on!

"We thought it should be a surprise."

What a surprise if it turned out to be an alien... He thought about it, the little perfect birth without any pain and then 'poof'... Green baby. God, what was he thinking? He must have had a little too much to drink.

"Thought of any names?" Luna asked.

"Well..." Amanda said in that slow, annoying way. "If it's a girl, we thought Rachel or Maria, and if it's a boy we thought..."

"... Remus or maybe James."

Harry saw that Sirius was carefully checking his reaction but all he could think was, 'oh, my god, they actually finish each others sentences'.

…

They talked about the baby for a long time but afterwards, when he was sitting in bed waiting for Snape to get his clothes off, he couldn't remember anything they'd said. He was probably just in shock.

"God", Harry said and laughed.

"What?" Snape asked and sat down next to Harry.

"They're gonna have a baby", Harry said, still laughing. "How the fuck did they do that?"

"Well, when two people love each other..." Snape began and Harry hit him on the arm.

"Stop!" Harry laughed.

"Sorry", Harry said when the laughter finally died down. "This is just so stupid."

"How is it stupid?" Snape asked and made Harry grin.

"I don't know!" he said and then he kissed Snape swiftly, making him fall on his back on the bed.

"Hey", Snape said and then groaned. "Take it easy, we're not wrestling."

Harry sat up, straddling Snape. "Sorry."

"I didn't say stop", Snape mumbled and Harry dived down again to kiss Snape's neck. Snape moaned and Harry bit down where he'd just kissed. He heard Snape suck in a breath, but he didn't protest. Harry licked at the red skin and let his hand, that had been resting on Snape's stomach, slide down beneath the rim of his underwear.

"God", Snape murmured as Harry gripped his erection and squeezed. "Wait. Wait."

Snape rolled Harry over and kissed him quickly on the lips, before kissing down his jaw.

"Where's my wand?" he murmured in Harry's ear and Harry groaned. They had to do the contraseptive spell if they didn't want to get pregnant. It didn't hurt or anything, it was just an uncomfortable tingling that Harry hated.

"Do we have to?" Harry complained, even though he knew they had to.

"Yes", Snape said and kissed him on the cheek before he reached for his wand. There it was, the tingling in his lower stomach. It was a spell for lube too and Harry sighed. He liked it when Snape had his fingers in him, when he worked him slowly. But, they hadn't even thought to bring the lube, so it was all stupid spell-lube for Harry and Snape that night.

"You ready?" Snape murmured and Harry nodded. Then Snape was inside him, moving slowly. They rocked unhurriedly and Snape reached down inbetween them to stroke Harry's cock at the same pace. Harry loved it when they did that, so it was always slow at first. Slow until it was maddeningly unbearable and then fast. Fast and more rushed.

Snape pushed in hard and made Harry gasp. Then Harry felt the rush of air against his neck as Snape breathed out, like he'd been holding his breath, and came. Afterwards he buried his head in Harry's neck and stayed still until Harry nudged his side. The warm heavyness that was Snape felt completely wonderful, but there were more urgent matters.

"Severus..." Harry breathed and led Snape's hand back to his, still solid, hard on. "Mm, come on."

Snape moved again, kissing down Harry's stomach stopping to dip his tongue in Harry's navel. "I'm not gonna... Last long if you keep doing that", Harry murmured and Snape finally had his lips around Harry's cock. Snape was bloody brilliant at giving blowjobs.

His tongue swivelled over Harry's head and that ball of thrill in Harry's stomach exploded. Harry came, gripping Snape's hair tightly. Snape swallowed and leaned back wiping his mouth.

Harry smiled happily. "You should be a bloody professional", he commented and Snape pulled him down against his chest.

Snape laughed and Harry felt the rumbling as his chest moved up and down. "You're all sticky", Harry commented. He was slightly out of breath.

"Yes", Snape said. "You too."

Harry listened to Snape's breathing and his heartbeats. Then the thought that Amanda had an extra heartbeat, a tiny heartbeat inside her, popped up. He wondered how you knew you were pregnant. Well, except the obvious signs. Did you feel special? Particularly careful about yourself, very caring and stuff? Or were you just your normal self? Could you feel that there was a little life inside you?

**A/N: Hope you liked it, a little smut there at the end. Anyways, might be a little late with the next update, because I'm right in the middle of moving to a new apartment. You'll have to be a little patient. Bye till next time.**


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N: Hey, lovelies! Late update, but you know, I have a life… Atleast during summer. Enjoy chapter 7…**

Chapter 7

Harry lay awake in the bedroom in the cabin. He watched the pale morning sun shine through the old, cracked and dusty windows. The rain had stopped but it was still cloudy outside.

The bed was warm and comfortable. It was old and so soft that you sunk down when you lay on it. Their room was pretty ugly, with old dark wallpaper and dusty carpeted floor. It looked like something Sirius' parents would enjoy. Harry didn't like it, but if he closed his eyes he could pretend he was somewhere else, somewhere pretty and airy.

He rested his head against Snape's arm and sighed when Snape woke up and tried to move it.

"Where are we gonna live then?" he asked and broke the silence of their breathing.

"What?" Snape asked sleepily and Harry turned around to look at him.

"When we get married. Where are we gonna live?"

Snape rubbed his eyes and then looked at Harry. "I don't know."

Harry crossed his fingers that Snape would say something about his house, that they shouldn't live there. Because Harry really didn't want to live there. It was so dark and depressing and every time he walked in that place, the only thing he could think of was Snape as a little kid, all sad and abused. Although Snape didn't use that word, that was what he'd been when he was little. Plus, it smelled like cat pee.

"I don't think we should live in Spinner's end."

Yes! Yes! Take that you dark, smelly house!

"We should buy a place."

"A house", Snape added.

"Yeah, with a yard. Some place far-off so we could play quidditch."

"Not a muggle town then?" Snape asked and Harry shrugged. He was lying down so he ended up just rustling the sheets, but Snape got it anyway.

"That doesn't matter to me. It should be light. We could have a potions room", he ended with a smile.

Snape stroked his cheek. "Yes."

Harry looked down at Snape's chest. "What about kids? Do you want kids?"

They hadn't even mentioned it before. Harry breathed in slowly, trying to cover up how nervous he was. Harry wanted kids. He did, even though it didn't seem like he did. Maybe he didn't want them right now, but some day. He wanted a family, a real one. He wanted that little life inside him.

"Can you see me as a father?" Snape asked and it might have seemed lighthearted and joking, if he'd smiled saying it.

Harry thought about it. _Could_ he see Snape as a father? "Yeah. Definitely."

Snape closed his eyes and Harry moved closer to him.

"We don't have to think about that right now, do we?" Snape asked and Harry smiled.

"No. Definitely not", Harry said and kissed Snape. "You know, I don't have a proper ring."

"Right", Snape said. "Do you want one?"

"I don't know..." Harry said thoughtfully.

"Wait..." Snape said and turned away. He came back again with his wand. "Give me your hand."

Harry did and watched Snape point his wand at his finger. There was a chill and a simple ring appeared. It was just silver, no stone or engravement. It fit perfectly.

Harry smiled and touched the cool metal. "I like it."

Snape smiled too. "Good."

"So, when do you wanna get going?" Harry said after kissing Snape.

Snape smirked. "Not soon."

"Yeah?" Harry asked and kissed Snape again, this time slowly. "So what do you wanna do until then?"

"Hm..." Snape mumbled. "Maybe we can think of some-"

He was interrupted by a knock at the door and Hermione's excited voice. "Harry? Harry! Oh, sorry... Are you busy?"

"Yes", Snape mumbled, but Harry smiled and got up to open the door. It opened to reveal a grinning Hermione, in a red T-shirt and a pair of pale jeans, with her bushy hair in a messy braid. She looked like she'd just gotten up from bed.

"Ron really can't keep his mouth shut, can he?" Harry said and Hermione pounced on him, giving him a big hug.

"Harry!" she shrieked again. "I can't believe you're getting married!"

"Sorry, mate", Ron said from behind her. "I couldn't help it. She's a bloody spy or something, I tell you."

"It's fine", Harry said through Hermione's hair and smiled.

Ron looked over Hermione's shoulder and saw Snape in the bed. "Whoah... I'll just wait out here."

Hermione finally let him go and looked at him smiling, then she turned to Snape. "Congratulations!"

"Thank you", Snape said and Harry could hear the rustling of sheets as he pulled them higher up on his chest.

"When did this happen?" she said, still grinning. "Ron was pretty vague."

"Um, Sunday, I mean yesterday morning. Or Saturday night, I don't know."

"So when are you going to... I mean have you set a date?"

"No", Harry said. Why hadn't they set a date? "We haven't really talked about it."

"Better do it soon", Ron said from the hallway. "Amanda and Sirius are getting married too, right, 'Mione?"

"Why would they... Because of the baby?" Harry asked.

"Well, not just because of the baby", Hermione laughed. "But, yeah. And... You're not pregnant...?"

"I already asked", Ron said.

Harry laughed nervously, it was a laugh that was instead of that dreaded question, 'why does everyone ask me if I'm pregnant?'. Couldn't Harry and Snape marry just because they were in love? Or was that so unthinkable? Was it because Harry was so much younger than Snape? Was it so impossible that they just loved each other? Harry knew that that wasn't what either Hermione or Ron had asked, but it was what they'd meant.

"Is this something you'd want to keep a secret, or...?" Hermione asked and Harry had to look back at Snape.

Snape was sitting up, leaning against the ornate headboard. He looked at Harry and Harry thought about what the newspapers would say when they heard he was getting married. Getting married to Snape. Would they stop writing about if Snape had tricked him in to their relationship or would the wedding news heat up the discussion even more? Would Snape get even more threatening letters?

"Yeah. It would be best to not say anything. You're the only people who know", Harry added. They understood by the comment that they shouldn't go around mentioning it to Sirius or... Well, mostly Sirius. That aching and throbbing feeling that appeared when he thought about Sirius and Snape appeared again and his smile wavered. But just for a second.

**A/N: Hope you liked it! Review!**


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8

Harry had a surprise for Snape, that was why he was walking up the gravelly path to Hogwarts. Sirius wasn't teaching as a Defense Agains the Dark Arts teacher anymore – as he'd said, he planned to stay home with Amanda during the pregnancy – and one day in August, Harry got the idea of taking his place. He'd thought about becoming an Auror but he knew that if he got in, it would be because he was Harry Potter. Atleast that would be what everyone would think. And, he'd always felt at home at Hogwarts, why not make it his home. Being close to Snape was the thing that made him decide. He would be at Hogwarts, with Snape. It would be... Just what he wanted. It would be so perfect that he was sure something would go wrong. Until now, he'd kept it a secret. That way, if he got turned down, not too many people would be disappointed.

He walked through the big doors and continued up the stair to the hospital wing. It was mandatory for all the teachers to go through a health check before the beginning of every new school year.

Harry opened the door to a very stressed Madame Pomfrey.

"Harry Potter!" she exclaimed and rushed over to him. "You're late!"

The hospital wing was crowded, unlike the rest of the castle that was completely abandoned. Almost the entire staff at Hogwarts were there, a few of them nodded and shouted greetings. Hagrid waved to Harry, his head was seen above one of those drapes Madame Pomfrey used when her patients needed privacy.

Harry looked for Snape but didn't find him. "Has Severus already been here?"

"Oh, yes. He left a while ago", she said and pushed Harry towards an empty cot. "I can't believe that you two, of all people, would end up together."

Harry tilted his head in something that could be interpreted as anything really, and Madame Pomfrey interpreted it as a polite agreement. Then she pulled the drapes closed around the bed. "Alright, then. Let's start. It's just a few simple inspection spells. It should be over in just a couple of minutes."

"Okay", Harry mumbled, hardly daring to interrupt her fast flow of words.

"I'm going to need you to take your shirt off", she said with her wand ready in her hand.

Harry did and she put the point of her wand aganst Harry's chest. "A few more scars I see", she said with a smile and then she mumbled, "The heart seems okay", when the wand lit up in a bright green.

Then she mumbled a few words and Harry felt all chilly inside, like he'd just drunk a glass of really cold water. "Any hereditary diseases in the family, muggle or magical?"

"Um, no... I don't think so."

Harry had absolutely no clue, but said what he thought Madame Pomfrey wanted to hear. She'd always scared him a bit.

"Bones are good. Do you have any scars acquired by spells or potions?" she said even though she'd seen his scars. But she was probably just repeating the same thing over and over again, just to different teachers.

Harry showed her the scar after Voldemort's medallion and a few others ending with the scar on his forehead, and that made her smile. "Yes, I knew that one", she said and then did some easy spells to check for magical residue, she explained.

"And finally..." she said with a hearty smile and mumbled some words while moving her wand in some pattern Harry didn't follow. The tip of the wand shot out a pale ray of light that then turned a dark purple. "Well, you're as healthy as a hippogriff."

Harry breathed out. For a moment he'd thought there was something wrong.

"So I'm fine? I can start working here?" he asked and Madame Pomfrey broke out in a smile that was very sincere.

"Yes, dear", she said and then she sat down in the chair next to the bed where Harry was sitting. She looked tired.

"Are you okay?" Harry asked in an effort to be nice to his colleague. Madame Pomfrey was his colleague, he realized.

"You know, I remember when Severus had his first check up", she said and Harry sat quietly. What did you say to that? "You-Know-Who had just been defeated and... He was just a child, still. He was so very serious. So thin", she added, as if the worst war wound one could have was a little malnourishment.

She shook her head, still smiling softly. "You're very alike, you know."

"I know I should eat more but-"

"No. I didn't mean it like that." Her voice was distant.

"Oh", Harry said and that made her snap to attention again.

"Severus can be very hard to deal with sometimes, but you should know that he's really a good person."

"Yeah, I know", Harry said and stopped dangling his legs. He had started without noticing. He shouldn't dangle his legs, he was a professor now. A teacher at Hogwarts.

"I had a hard time believing that he was working for You-Know-Who, I really did. I always told Minerva 'he can't be working for him, not Severus'", she said as she stood up and straightened her dress. "He was such a sweet boy. Troubled, but sweet. Your father was different. He was always happy, I think that's what brought your parents together. Lily was... She was always thinking. Brooding. Your father took that away", she said and then smiled at what she'd said. "No. He made her think about happy things. He made her think about you. He was a light in those terrible war times."

Harry smiled. That's what he always did when people brought up his parents. It was too hard to ask them to stop or to start crying.

Then someone shouted something from the other side of the curtains and she put on an energetic smile. "Now, Professor Potter, you should be on your way. Off you go now."

...

"Harry, are you sure you don't want some more?" Mrs. Weasley asked and offered Harry the bowl of potatoes.

"No thank you, Mrs. Weasley. I'm full", Harry said even though he wasn't full at all. It had been a long day. He hadn't had time to see Snape and when he went by his house he wasn't there. He was quite worried actually.

It seemed that everyone was incredibly fertile. Fleur and Bill had been at the Burrow when Harry came back from Hogwarts and they'd announced that they were having a baby too. But they actually deserved it. Fleur'd had a miscarriage about a year ago so now everyone was crossing their fingers for this one to go okay. Fleur was already four months gone and she'd started to show. She'd shown the little bump on her belly proudly, and Mrs. Weasley had put her hand on it, swearing she could feel the baby kick. Bill watched them with that same proud look on his face.

It was a sweet scene. A bit interrupted by Harry rushing out to puke in the bathroom, but still a sweet scene. But he'd panicked. Snape wanted kids. Harry wanted kids. One day that would be him. And it was fricking terrifying.

Harry had excused himself by saying he hadn't been feeling so well, but Mrs. Weasley had been watching him all afternoon. She kept saying stuff like 'maybe we should get you looked at' or 'did you eat something bad?' and it made Harry wish that he wasn't staying at the Weasleys, that he could have some peace and quiet. Then he felt bad for thinking that too. She was only concerned.

Harry'd lived with the Weasleys the whole summer. It was nice, but Harry still couldn't shake the feeling of being a burden. He knew that the Weasleys weren't exactly well-off, he'd known that for a long time, and it didn't exactly make it easier with one more mouth to feed. Although both Mr. and Mrs Weasley assured Harry that it wasn't a big deal, he knew that their life would be so much easier without him. He'd stayed at Snape's house a few nights too, but the place still gave him the creeps, so he tried to avoid it as much as he could.

They needed to find a house. They couldn't just meet at the Burrow. After living at the Dursleys and then in a dorm with several other boys Harry wanted some privacy.

...

Harry lay in Ron's bedroom, staring up at the ceiling playing with the thought of getting pregnant, trying to imagine having a big pregnant belly. It couldn't be done. He just couldn't think of it. So he thought of Snape instead. That didn't work either. Instead he started thinking about how their future children would look like. If it was a girl, he imagined Snape's sleek dark hair, but longer, and Snape's thin lips. He imagined his own green eyes or Snape's dark ones. He thought about his own messy dark hair on a little boy, a toddler. He would be laughing, Snape would be tickling him. Yes, he could imagine that.

Then he thought about names. He'd always liked Eileen, the name of Snape's mother, and he thought Snape would like it. He knew he wanted James, but it was hard to imagine Snape agreeing to that. He liked Catherine too. He could call her Cathy. Cathy would have his messy hair, in one of those braids that Hermione had started doing lately. She'd like quidditch, and be good at it too. They would come to her games at school. Or maybe Abigail. Abbie. Abbie would have Snape's talent for potions and Harry's green eyes. She'd be a Ravenclaw. Connor. He sounded like someone who would have red or brown hair. He'd be the popular boy, the one who'd mess around in class. Simon, that sounded like someone who'd have freckles. He'd be short and a little chubby and when he grew up he would marry some girl like Hannah.

Ron startled Harry with a loud snore. He looked at his best friend and silently thanked him. He really had to stop thinking about houses and babies and marriages. It was too much, he just got stressed and worried.

**A/N: Decided to be nice and give you two chapters in a row. Hope you liked them, a lot of baby talk in this chapter, hope you didn't find it too boring.**


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N: So sorry for the delay! ****The next chapter will come before next Friday and if I don't post it until then you have the right to be angry and nag me all you like about updating!**

Chapter 9

Harry woke up to Snape's fast breathing. Snape'd had another nightmare. He rarely had them anymore, but they happened. Harry had nightmares too, but his were more... They weren't really about anything, just darkness and that feeling of being trapped or being hunted. Snape's dreams were more precise, special scenarios and places.

"Hey", Harry said quietly, as not to scare him. "You're okay. You're fine."

Snape mumbled something and cupped his hands over his face. He looked sick, all hunched over and swetty.

"What was it about?" Harry asked and sat up, ignoring the covers slipping off him, ignoring the cold air against his skin.

Snape breathed out. "The night I... When I left Hogwarts. When Albus died." His voice hitched after 'died' and it was as if even if he wanted to say something more, he couldn't.

Harry was quiet, but let his hand slip into Snape's hand.

"I don't want to fall asleep again", Snape got out between deep breaths.

"You don't have to", Harry said and shook his head. "We can stay up."

"No. Go back to sleep. I have work I can do", Snape said, already half way up from the bed.

"You sure? I don't mind getting up a bit early", Harry said, but he was lying.

"It's two in the morning. Sleep", Snape said and Harry fell back against the pillows again.

"Sure...?" he mumbled, but he was already drifting off to sleep.

...

Harry slept until well into the afternoon. Snape woke him up by gently nudging his side.

"Oh. What time is it...?" Harry asked sleepily and clumsily pushed his glasses back on his nose.

"It's two in the afternoon", Snape said and sat down on the side of the bed. They'd put some charms on it, making it bigger. The way it had been before had been way too small, Harry and Snape'd had to lay crammed, tight against eachother. That wasn't too bad either, but when Snape had fallen out of the bed for the third time they'd decided that something needed to change.

"Why didn't you wake me up?" Harry asked and sat up.

"Why? You got anywhere you need to be?"

"No", Harry smiled. "No, not at all."

Harry moved over to give room for Snape to crawl in the bed. Harry lay with his back against Snape's stomach, and Snape held his arms around Harry. His hand rested softly on his hip.

"Pomfrey told me you went to Hogwarts", Snape whispered.

"Oh. What else did she tell you?" Harry asked and hoped that Snape couldn't feel him tensing up.

"Nothing. What else could she have told me?" Snape asked and tried to tilt his head so that he could see Harry's face.

"Nothing. What did you work on last night?"

"Don't change the subject. Why were you at the castle?"

"I wanted to see you?" Harry tried, but he knew that Snape didn't fall for it. "Okay, it was supposed to be... Well, a surprise, I guess, but I'll tell you ...I took the job as the new Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher."

Harry could feel Snape smiling as he buried his face in the crook of Harry's neck. "That's great."

"Yeah. Don't you think? We could share rooms and I could see you every day."

Some part of him screamed inside his head. No, no, no. No! Noooo...! He couldn't move in with Snape. He thought he'd have some time to get ready, to prepare himself. The little voice kept on screaming its lungs out as Harry drifted off to sleep.

...

"You could stay for dinner", Snape asked, leaning against the door frame to the livingroom.

"No. I need to get back, they're probably..." Harry began but was interrupted by Ron's head sticking out of the fireplace. "...wondering where I am."

"Hi", Ron said and Harry sat down by the fire. "Look, mum's wondering if you're coming home for dinner?"

"Yeah, yeah. I'm coming", Harry said and in the corner of his eye, Snape slipped out of the room.

"You can bring Snape too. The twins are coming over", Ron said. Hermione was also there, of course, but Harry knew that. She was practically living with the Weasleys too. She only stopped by her parents' – who'd had their memory fixed back to normal after the battle at Hogwarts – to sleep and change clothes.

"Severus?" Harry shouted and Snape walked in again. "Mrs Weasley is wondering if you want to eat at the Burrow."

"I have work. I can't."

"It's just dinner", Harry said and made Snape hesitate.

"It's not a big deal. Just decide later, mum's still gonna make enough food for atleast twelve more people", Ron said and Harry smiled. He was starving. "Show up around seven or so, just..." Ron's head looked at the left, said something like 'Hermione, stop' and then disappeared.

"Ron?" Harry said, but Ron was gone. The fire flared and then decreased to a small glow.

"You wanna come?" Harry asked Snape.

Snape smiled and leaned back in the sofa. "I really do have work."

Harry made a disappointed sound and leaned his head in Snape's lap.

"Harry..." Snape sighed. "Fine."

"Good", Harry said and heaved himself up on the sofa. "But we don't have to be there until seven..."

"You shouldn't have told Weasley where I live. I want you all to myself when you're here", Snape said and his hand sneaked up Harry's shirt, making Harry flinch and pull away.

It was like he expected Snape to know how nervous and scared he was about all this just by touching him. Why was he being like this? He loved Snape, he did. And when you loved people you didn't get all panicky when they asked you to marry them and when you were going to live together and have kids together and live the rest of your lives together... Oh god.

"What?" Snape asked and Harry could hear by the tone of his voice that he was offended.

"Nothing", Harry said and smiled. "Nothing."

Snape's hand fell away from Harry and he stood up. "I need to finish up. I'll be in the study."

"Severus. I didn't..."

"Don't worry", Snape said and then he disappeared down the hall, not leaving Harry any time to explain.

**A/N: So, that's it. Next chapter will come soon! Promise! Bye bye, and as always, review and favourite please.**


	10. Chapter 10

**A/N: So much for 'I'****ll post on Friday', right? Sorry… But I hope you'll like this chapter despite its author's whimsical behaviour! As always, reviews are awesome!**

Chapter 10

Snape and Harry offered to do the dishes after Mrs Weasley's dinner and she'd reluctantly allowed it.

"Are you all right?" Harry asked, with his hands in the warm, soapy water. Snape dried the plates and cutlery with a spell and then levitated them into the cupboard. A very complicated way of drying dishes in Harry's point of view, but... Snape was the master of complicated.

"Why wouldn't I be?" Snape asked and flicked his wand slightly, sending some forks shooting into a drawer.

Yes, the master of complicated. Why couldn't he just give Harry a chance to say he was sorry? Why did he have to make it so hard?

"I'm sorry for flinching like that before", Harry said and glanced at Snape. How was he supposed to explain everything and keep from hurting Snape's feelings?

Snape quietly levitated some plates into a cupboard.

"Why?" he asked finally.

"Why I'm sorry or why I flinched?" Harry said and earned a glare from Snape. "Sorry. But... I don't know. I was just tired."

"Did I do something? Is that why you're..." Snape asked and a few of the plates lost some altitude.

"No. No, you didn't do anything", Harry said and realized he was out of dishes to wash, out of distractions. But he chickened out. He'd never been good at talking about his feelings and all that crap and it wasn't easier knowing that if he said something the wrong way, Snape would be so extremely pissed at him. Well, he'd be hurt, but with Snape it was the same thing. So he just said something about having a headache and Snape looked at him with those dark eyes. He knew there was something wrong and Harry wondered how long it'd go before he cornered Harry.

...

Harry moved in to Snape's quarters at Hogwarts in July, right after Harry's birthday. He started work a month before the start of school in September and there were a lot of preparations. He didn't have that much stuff to bring; only his trunk that he used to bring to Hogwarts, and that really wasn't that much. He had some stuff at Grimmauld place too, but Amanda was just _so_ annoying. Snape and Harry hadn't told anyone else than Hermione and Ron about getting married either. And Harry still hadn't had the courage to talk to Snape about how incredibly panicked he felt. All these secrets were making him even more jumpy and nervous.

Mrs. Weasley was crying like one of her own children were moving out. Harry'd told her he'd come visit atleast once a week, but she didn't believe him. She brought up Charlie as an example of one who never visited, but then Harry'd said that he lived in Bulgaria and Harry was only moving to Hogwarts. That made her calm down a bit, but she'd still been pretty wound up. All her kids, except for Ron, had moved out, so he didn't blame her for being a little upset. Mr. Weasley was at work, like he usually was, but Ron said that he'd wished he was there to say goodbye.

They hadn't bought a house yet, but they had all year to look for one. Yes, all year. Right. And the house was going to be perfect, it had to be perfect, he caught himself thinking. He rejected house after house, making Snape pretty pissed. It was just stalling. Stalling, stalling, stalling.

They'd also celebrated his nineteenth birthday with a small party. He got a lot of practical presents from the Weasleys and his friends, alot of the gifts had something to do with his work. He'd gotten a locket with a green stone of some sort on it from Snape. Harry liked it and it was almost exactly the same color as his eyes. Harry'd been so close to telling Snape that he was so stressed out by all their _plans_ that night, but he just hadn't dared. So it was a lot going on and on top of everything, Ginny and Draco had come back from their honeymoon. Ginny had been pretty surprised to hear that Amanda was pregnant but she seemed happy for her. She'd said that she and Draco weren't planning on having a baby for atleast a few years.

And Harry was so tired, all the time. He'd fallen asleep at his desk more times than he could count.

The summer was almost over and Harry spent all his time – well, the time he didn't spend in his office, preparing his classes or sleeping – on his broom. When Ron visited he had someone to play quidditch with, but otherwise he just flew around the school. It was the only time he could forget everything and just fly. Feel the chilly air on his face as he dived and swivelled around the rooftops of the castle and the treetops in the Forbidden Forrest. He liked flying over the lake, especially when it was cloudy. It was so beautiful, seeing the grey sky mix with the green water in the lake's reflection.

And then one day when he got home to Snape's quarters – well, _their_ quarters – Snape was waiting for him. He was sitting in his – _their_ – sofa and reading a book, but Harry knew he had been waiting for him.

"Hi. I'm sorry I'm so late, I was just out flying", Harry said and Snape looked up.

Harry was completely soaked with mud; he'd fallen down in a huge puddle of sludge.

Snape smirked. "Come here", he said and reached his hand out to Harry.

"I... I need to take a shower", Harry said and avoided Snape's eyes.

Snape sighed and it almost sounded like a growl. He put the book down and stood up. "What is wrong? You've been... You're never here, you're avoiding me, you're..."

"Can we just-" Harry started and looked down at the floor.

"Why? If you're leaving-" Snape asked angrily.

"No. I wouldn't-", Harry said weakly. Snape grabbed his arm and that made Harry look up at him.

"Then tell me what it is!" Snape hissed.

"It's just too much, okay? With moving in, getting married... And kids! We're going to have kids!"

"Is it just that?" Snape said and laughed sharply, more of a cough than a real laugh.

"'Just that'? I'm fucking terrified! Aren't you?" Harry shouted and Snape walked closer, putting his hands on either sides of Harry's face.

"Of course I am!"

It caught Harry off guard. "What? Really?"

"Yes. But we don't have to do that now, do we? We can wait. We don't have to rush!" Snape said and with his eyebrows raised and a smile on his face.

Harry laughed. He was right. He was absolutely right. Why hadn't he come to Snape earlier? Snape knew what to do, he always did. Harry leaned in to Snape's chest.

"How do you do that? How are you so...?" Harry couldn't find a word for it so he just fell silent. 'How can you make me feel so safe and wanted?' Harry realized later that he wanted to ask, but he couldn't say that. It sounded so cheesy but it was how he felt. Feelings were so cheesy sometimes, love especially.

**A/N: It was my birthday last week. That's gotta deserve a review? **


	11. Chapter 11

**A/N: Here you go, chapter 11! Hope you'll enjoy and as always, review!**

Chapter 11

"What's wrong with this one, then?" Snape asked.

Harry made a face and said, "I don't know. It's just..."

"Harry... This is good. It's a pretty neighbourhood, the house is big, it's..."

"Mmhm..." Harry said and stopped listening as Snape went on about how great the place was. It wasn't great. It reminded Harry of Privet Drive, with perfect little lawns and perfect little disapproving people living with their perfect little families in perfect little houses. No, they shouldn't have come here.

"I just don't want to live-" Harry began and then fell silent. Snape looked at him questioningly but Harry's eyes were fixed on the big, blonde boy – well, man – that walked in to the kitchen followed by a short, chubby girl with brownish blonde hair.

"Dudley", Harry said without thinking. Now Snape looked over at the couple too. It was an open viewing of the house, they had every right to be there, but Harry wanted to throw them out of there. The fact that they'd been considering the same house was... It made Harry's stomach churn.

"Who's this?" Harry asked in a friendly tone. He knew 'friendly' wasn't what Dudley had expected and Harry's smile widened at his uncertain expression.

"Margaret", he said and saying her name seemed to sober him up. "Margaret, this is my cousin, Harry."

Harry smiled and the girl took his outstretched hand and shook it. "Hello", she said in a squeeky voice.

Harry wondered if she always sounded like that or if it was just Dudley's nervousness that made her like this. Dudley and his – could he say girlfriend? – girl looked at him expectantly and then they looked at Snape behind him.

"Oh! Right. This is Snap... Severus."

He couldn't call his boyfriend by his last name! That wasn't normal. Should he tell them he was his boyfriend or had they gotten the hint? Should he say fiancé? Harry forced himself to calm down. It was just Dudley! He shouldn't be nervous around a boy that used to call himself Big D!

"Are you thinking of buying it?" Margaret asked. She had atleast understood the boyfriend-thing, Harry knew by her strained smile. Dudley just looked at them with a confused look on his face.

"Buying what?" Harry said stupidly. "Oh, the house. No, I don't think so."

Harry looked up at Snape who watched the couple with a bored look on his face.

"Oh", Margaret said simply. Harry now noticed how her arm was linked in Dudley's and the golden ring on her finger.

"You're married?" Harry asked and Margaret shone up in a more honest smile.

The moment Harry'd said it he realized he should have kept his mouth shut. He'd gotten an invitation, he remembered. He'd just ignored it.

Margaret or Dudley didn't comment on it though. They said something about how nice the wedding had been but nothing more. They ended up standing there in the unfurnished kitchen in an awkward silence.

"So, how are Aunt Petunia and Uncle Vernon?" Harry asked and Dudley mumbled that they were fine.

"So... What are you doing these days?" Harry asked.

"Working with dad", he said and Harry smiled. Oh, the drill company. Exciting. "What about you?"

"I teach. At St. Brutus'", Harry added with a pleasant smile that made Dudley blush and look away. He deserved it, Harry thought.

"Well, we should... We should get going", Dudley said and Margaret added a cheery smile.

"Bye", Harry smiled and gave Dudley a smile that would have killed Voldemort and all his horcruxes, if he'd given it to him.

"St. Brutus'?" Snape asked after they'd left and they were alone in the kitchen.

"St. Brutus' Secure Centre for Incurably Criminal Boys", Harry explained. "That's what we called it when we had company."

"What?" Snape said with a small smile.

He thought he was joking. How sweet. Harry smiled and gave Snape a peck on his cheek. "Can we leave now? We're not going to buy this, are we?"

Snape looked like he was going to argue the change of subject but then he kissed Harry back. "No. No, we'll have to keep looking."

...

Ginny pounced on Harry as soon as he walked through the door to Grimmauld place. Ginny was there to visit Amanda and the twins were already there, discussing business with Sirius. Apparently he was investing in Weasley's Wizard Wheezes.

"How are you, professor?" she asked with a grin.

"The school year hasn't started yet, you can't really call me that", Harry said and smiled at her. "But I'm good. You?"

She looked good. She was tanned and had more freckles than ever. She nodded. "I'm great."

Malfoy showed up behind her and Harry laughed. "Wow. What happened to you?"

It was pretty obvious what had happened though. He was completely red. Lobster red. Tomato red. Ketchup red. Christmas red. And he had some very pretty markings after sunglasses too. Malfoys apparently weren't suited for the sun. Not at all. Really not.

"Fred and George's sunlotion", Ginny said and Harry could see that she was barely containing a laugh. "It says it protects against the sun, but really it makes the sunburn worse. Protects against skin cancer though", she added and stroked Malfoy's hair.

"Yeah, that's a real relief", Malfoy grumbled through clenched teeth and shrugged off Ginny's hand.

"Harry, we see you've seen the masterpiece", Fred said and patted Malfoy's shoulder.

"Draco boy, you're not mad at us, are you?" George said with a grin.

"Don't tease him!" Ginny said and George and Fred disappeared out the door with matching grins. They apparated right outside the door.

"Severus", Malfoy said and Snape nodded with a smirk.

"It suits you", he said and Malfoy resumed his glaring.

"Harry!" Amanda shrieked. She was about five months along now and had a pouting belly under her stretched out yellow dress. "It's so great to see you!"

"Yeah, hi", Harry mumbled.

"Hey, Sirius", Harry said and Sirius hugged him.

"Hey, cub. What have you been up to?"

"Nothing much", Harry said. Only gotten engaged and gone houseshopping. Nothing big.

"Come in!" Amanda said and led them to the kitchen.

Grimmauld place was completely different. It was brighter, had more color and was just... A lot less disturbing and depressing. It looked like someone actually lived there, someone who didn't think that 'decorating' meant putting up dead houself heads on the walls.

"This place looks good", Harry said and tried to catch Sirius' eyes. He was the reason they were there. They'd decided to tell him. They had to. Harry seriously couldn't take anymore waiting and dreading Sirius' reaction to everything.

"Thanks", Amanda said and poured Harry and Snape a cup of tea. Snape pushed his cup away from him and looked at Harry.

"Actually, we're only here to", Harry hesitated. No, this was not the time to chicken out. "...talk to you, Sirius."

Sirius looked at them with that blank expression – right between a smile and a questioning look – that you had when someone was being overly serious. "About what?"

Harry looked at Amanda. Luckily Ginny and Malfoy were in another room, saying hello to Buckbeak. Well, Malfoy was standing in the doorway, with a slightly paler red on his face, watching Ginny say hello to Buckbeak. Anyway, they were out of hearing range.

Maybe it was better that Amanda was there. Sirius wouldn't dare to blow anything up if his pregnant girlfriend was in the room, would he?

Harry looked at Snape, as if to say 'you do it'. Snape straightened up and said, "We're getting married", while Harry smiled cautiously at Sirius.

It was like ripping off a band aid. It hurt like hell.

Sirius went pale while Amanda smiled. "That's wonderful!" she said and beamed.

"Yeah", Harry said.

Sirius was still quiet and it was so much worse than if he'd shouted and yelled.

Amanda actually squealed. Then she hit Sirius' arm, looking for a reaction. Sirius just stared at the table.

"I can help with the wedding preparations, right?" she said, but didn't succeed in breaking the tension in the room.

"Sirius", Harry said and he hated how needy he sounded. He shouldn't be asking Sirius for his approval, he should be mad. Harry had the right to scream and be mad. But still, here he was, begging Sirius to accept this.

Harry looked at Snape and he got the hint and started walking to the door. He wasn't choosing Sirius over Snape; it just might be easier if Snape left. Amanda looked between Sirius and Harry worriedly before she left too. Then Harry slumped down at the chair next to Sirius'. He didn't even know how to begin, so he just sat there, quiet.

Then Sirius pulled him in to a big hug.

"I can't stop you from doing this, can I?" Sirius said and Harry could hear that he was smiling. Then he said, more seriously, "If he gives you any trouble, tell me, okay?"

"Yeah", Harry said and smiled.

"I'm sorry", Sirius mumbled.

"S'okay", Harry said and buried his face in Sirius' robes.

"I may have been a little unfair", Sirius said.

"You've been an arse."

"Yeah, I guess I have been. Sorry", Sirius said and Harry looked over his shoulder to see Snape leaning against the doorframe, the blabbering Amanda standing behind him. Snape had that sour look on his face, the one he had when he wanted to rip someone's head off.

"Are we allowed back in now?" Snape asked through clenched teeth.

"Yes", Harry said and as soon as he'd released Sirius, Amanda pounced on him.

"Yay! We're all friends now!" she exclaimed.

Yeah. Well, maybe not friends, but something.

"God, that girl can talk", Snape grumbled next to Harry's ear.

"Yes, she can", Harry said and shook his head in an attempt to make the endless stream of excited words stop.

"What's happening here?" Ginny asked as she and Malfoy walked in to the kitchen.

"Harry's getting married!" Amanda shrieked before Harry had a chance to say anything.

"I believe I have something to do with it too", Snape said as Ginny broke out in a huge grin.

"Harry! Snape! Really?" she said and Harry smiled and nodded.

They were really doing this. They were really getting married and moving in together. Harry suddenly wanted to lie down. Getting married was... big. Oh, god. And that panicky feeling of not being able to do it crept its way into Harry's head. He was nineteen, he couldn't get married. But he had Snape. Snape? Yeah, right, Snape was... Snape was _Snape_! He was completely unable to love. No, Harry argued with himself, he wasn't unable to love. He loved Harry. Yes, but it had taken him like one year to say it and when he'd said it it had sounded forced. And he'd only said it once. Why in the world did Harry have to go and get married to Snape?

**A/N: And there he is again with the doubts… Oh dear Harry, when will you learn?**

**I feel so evil when I write him like this (sorry^^'). Anyway, you'll have the next chappie in a few days, I hope.**


	12. Chapter 12

**A/N: Quick update this time! I like this chapter, even though it's short, because Harry and Snape are so cute together… :D Anyway, read and review and in the next chapter we'll see Harry's first day as a teacher! Hope you'll enjoy…**

Chapter 12

"Slytherin!" the Sorting Hat shouted and the tiny, blackhaired girl jumped off to the cheering Slytherin table. Harry glanced to his right and saw Snape smirking as he took a sip of his drink.

Harry was nervous. Very nervous. He kept fidgeting with the edge of his robes and taking tiny sips of water, even though he wasn't thirsty at all. He couldn't wait for the food to come, not that he was hungry, he just wanted something to keep his hands busy. It was his first day as a teacher, it was a given that he was nervous, but he hadn't thought he'd be _this_ nervous.

"Gryffindor!" the hat shouted and a chubby boy Harry had missed the name of, grinned and sat down by the other Gryffindors. Harry smiled proudly and clapped his hands as Snape coughed silently.

"Come on, be a little enthusiastic", Harry leaned in and whispered.

"Why? He was sorted in to Gryffindor", Snape said with a smirk.

"Yes. And I'm Gryffindor's head of house."

Harry had taken over after Sirius, who'd taken over after McGonagall. She couldn't be both headmaster and the head of Gryffindor, otherwise she might be unfair to the other houses. Harry didn't think she would be, but she'd insisted. Her teaching spot as Transfiguration teacher had been taken over by Professor Moonshine. She was... pretty weird, but did a good job teaching.

"I don't see where you're going with this", Snape said as the Ravenclaws cheered for their new addition, a pale, tall girl.

"And I'm your boyfriend, soon to be husband."

"Yes?" Snape asked and Harry couldn't help smiling at Snape's amused smirk.

"You should be glad for me", Harry said.

"Really? Is that how it works?" Snape said and locked eyes with Harry. It made him all warm inside and made his smile wider.

"He's a Slytherin", Snape said and nodded to a boy with brown hair down to his shoulders. He stood by himself, but when McGonagall called his name, he stepped up with a determined look on his face.

"Definitely a Gryffindor", Harry mumbled and Snape looked at him thoughtfully.

"I swear that he's a Slytherin."

"Wanna bet?" Harry asked and raised his eyebrows. "If he's a Gryffindor you have to..."

"Slytherin!" the hat shouted and Harry groaned while Snape applauded with a smile.

"Let's see what you have to do..." he said and his hand sneaked its way down the inside of Harry's thigh. Harry nervously glanced over to McGonagall, but the teachers were all focused on the sorting.

Harry smiled and then mouthed, "Later".

Snape leaned back with a disappointed look on his face and calmly watched the rest of the sorting. There seemed to be a lot of decent kids in Gryffindor, Harry thought. He'd be their head of house, that was... huge. He'd be their McGonagall! The thought of him in McGonagall's clothes, with that strict look on his face, popped up in Harry's head and he grinned. He really couldn't see himself as that sort of a teacher. But maybe that was what teaching did to you, it made you all strict and stern. Harry would have to see for himself. He'd have his first lessons the morning after.

"...and we have the honor of welcoming Harry Potter as our new Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher", McGonagall said and the hall broke out in cheers, shouts and applause. Harry stood up and bowed his head slightly at the crowd. The first years looked at him with huge eyes, they'd probably only seen him in newspapers and heard about him from his parents. What if people did that to his future kids, he wondered and swallowed. What if the Prophet followed them around, what if everyone stared at them too? He wouldn't want that for his kids, he really wouldn't want that. He sat down with a faded smile on his face and avoided Snape's eyes. Snape was getting good at reading Harry, especially lately. Well, he'd always been good at finding out Harry's secrets and "mischief" while he was at school but this was different. He knew what Harry was thinking, what he wanted, and that wasn't too bad. In fact, it was great. To know that Snape knew him that well was... great.


	13. Chapter 13

**A/N: So, chapter 13! Hope you like it and if you did, please review! ****Well, you can review even if you didn't, I can't control you… **

Chapter 13

Harry nervously looked out at the waiting second years and then collected his papers. They looked at him with the same huge eyes as they had done the night before and a few of them were whispering quietly.

"Yeah... Hey, listen up", he said even though the classroom was completely quiet. "I thought we'd start with... Um, right. My name is Harry Potter."

"Yeah, we know that", a charming voice said. It belonged to a tall, brown haired boy, sitting in the middle of the room. He was surrounded by a few other kids that had smirked at his comment. Already gotten a few fans, then.

They were only kids after all, Harry said to himself and forced a smile. He didn't have to be afraid of them. He'd defeated Voldemort, he could teach a few eleven year olds. "What's your name?" he asked the delightful boy who'd commented him.

"Adrian Youngblood", he said and smiled sweetly. "I'm in Ravenclaw."

Bloody know-it-alls. "Oh. Five points from Ravenclaw, then."

"What?" Adrian spluttered and his smile wavered.

"When I talk you don't get to interrupt me. And I'm your professor, so you call me 'sir'."

Harry smiled and walked back to his desk. That had been a little mean, but he had a feeling he had to be firm with Adrian Youngblood or else that kid would give him a lot of trouble.

"Okay then. I was going to start on..." Harry said, but stopped himself as an arm was slowly raised up in the air. "Yes?"

"You're really _the_ Harry Potter?" a girl with slightly worn robes, probably hand-me-downs, said.

"Yes. And you're in..."

"Gryffindor", she said and Harry noticed that she was afraid that he'd take points from her too.

"So you really killed You-Know-Who?" someone shouted out.

"Yes", Harry said patiently. He was not going to learn them anything today, apparently.

"What was it like?" Adrian Youngblood asked and leaned forward in his chair.

"Killing Voldemort?" Harry asked and a few of the students jumped in their seats, but the most of them just seemed more impressed.

Adrian nodded.

Harry smiled and looked down at the floor. "This isn't really a suitable subject for a classroom, is it?"

And then he started the lesson he'd planned, but Adrian's question had caught him off guard. It was so easy to forget about everything, but then someone had to come and ruin his little fantasy. It was so crappy being famous.

...

He had a double hour before lunch with a class of fifth years, Slytherins and Gryffindors. They'd known him when he'd gone to the school, so they weren't all that impressed and worshipping. Some of them were, but absolutely not all of them. But of course there were the occasional questions about Voldemort and at the end of the class, even about Snape.

Sarah's question that she threw out as she ran her hands through her red hair, made Harry have a coughing attack. "So you're together with Professor Snape, then?"

Harry stared at her as her friends giggled and shrieked, "Sarah!"

"Um, yeah", Harry said and cleared his throat.

That made Sarah laugh and Harry wanted to shout at her. But that was probably not accepted behaviour for a teacher.

"So does he kiss any good?" she said and pouted her lips in a fake kiss.

"That's not-" Harry began, but was interrupted by Sarah's friend, Charlie.

"Hey, Sarah, I can show you some good kissing..." he said and wiggled his eyebrows, making the whole room erupt in laughter and giggles.

"Hey!" Harry snapped. "We're having a lesson here!"

"Sorry..." Sarah said in that slow way making it sound like 'saw-re'.

Harry was just about to yell at her when there was a knock at the door and – Harry cursed his fucking 'luck' – Snape walked in. That made Sarah and her friends giggle even more.

"Severus", Harry said stupidly and realized afterwards that he maybe shouldn't have called him that. But teachers could call each other by their first names, right? It wasn't like when he was at school, when he had to call Snape 'sir' and 'professor'.

Snape nodded and strode up to the desk in his usual elegant way. "Do you have an extra cauldron?" he asked, but Harry knew that wasn't really why he was there.

He could feel the whole class' eyes on them as he said that he did and went away to find it in one of the cupboards against the wall behind the desk.

"Is it going well?" Snape asked quietly, his back to the nosy class.

"Yeah, yeah. It's going pretty well... Um, can we talk tonight instead?" Harry asked and nodded towards his, now quiet class.

Snape understood and nodded as he levitated the cauldron out of there. Before he left his mouth quirked upwards in what seemed like a smile and Harry leaned against the desk with a smirk on his lips. Then Sarah whispered something to her friend who reacted with more, 'Sarah!'s, so it was probably something dirty, and the room was it's normal, lively self again.

...

Harry decided to skip dinner and go right back to his and Snape's quarters. He slumped down in the couch as soon as he got through the door. It had been an extremely long day. After his classes were done he'd had to stay behind in his office to grade things and prepare his next classes. It was exhausting. He looked into the fireplace with the crackling flames and sighed.

"How was it?" Snape asked and Harry opened his eyes.

"_Oh my god_. It was... You do this every day?" Harry groaned.

Snape smirked.

"Do you have food? I need food", Harry said and Snape waved his wand, making a platter of food appear. The smell of fried chicken reached Harry's nose and he smiled at Snape. "I _love_ you."

He realized what he'd said and how Snape had gotten that cold, frozen mask that he had when he covered up what he really felt, but he was too tired to care. It was awful of him, but he was exhausted and extremely hungry, that had to make it okay to not care for just a little moment.

"So how was your day?" Harry asked and chewed off a huge chunk of chicken.

"Fine. Tiring", Snape said and rubbed his eyes.

"They asked a lot of questions", Harry said and made a humming noise as he gobbled down the food, almost not pausing to chew.

"What about?" Snape asked and he sounded like he maybe had an idea what the questions were about.

Harry smiled and started, "Vold-" Right. Snape didn't like it when he said his name. "Sorry. They asked me about You-Know-Who. How the war was, stuff like that."

Snape nodded and then said, "No one asked about us?"

"Well, yeah... They did", Harry stopped gobbling down food and looked up at Snape. "They asked if you were a good kisser."

Snape smirked. "My pupils were slightly cruder."

"What? What did they ask?" Harry said with a smile.

Snape closed his eyes and sighed. He looked tired and old.

"Was it that dirty?" Harry asked. He had eaten enough for a troll, so he put down the plate, feeling pretty full. He leaned in and put his hands around Snape's neck.

"Yes", Snape said and kissed Harry. "It was. I had to give three Gryffindors and a Slytherin detention."

"Hm", Harry said against Snape's lips.

"'Hm', what?"

"Nothing", Harry said. "It's just a tad bit typical that there were three Gryffindors and just one Slytherin."

Snape pulled away from Harry. "What?"

"You kinda... favorize..." Harry's voice died away when he saw Snape's angry face, "...your students. Sometimes..."

"What? Just because the Slytherins are worth praising-"

"Worth praising? You only like them because you're their head of house", Harry blurted out and stood up.

As soon as Harry'd said it he knew he'd gone too far. Snape looked at him with loathing in his eyes.

"Is that what you think?" he said and stood up too.

"Yes! It's not like they're _especially _good at anything. And you never give any credit to anyone else, especially not Gryffindors!"

"I can't help that Gryffindors are moronic. They think... No, they don't think! That's the fucking problem. They act without thinking and then when they get in trouble they stand there, with all that 'courage', unable to do anything but just wait for other people to bail them out!" Snape said and clutched his wand.

Harry snorted out a laugh. "Really? Atleast that's better than being a fucking coward and running away from trouble! The Slytherin motto, 'Save yourself!'", Harry spit out.

"Don't say that", Snape hissed and walked closer.

"'Coward'? Harry said and tilted his head. "That's what you are, a bloody coward. You can't even say that you love me!"

The argument, that had probably just started because they were both so tired, had started getting personal. Harry could feel the shame of giving out such a low blow, but he just didn't care. He was pissed off and all that anger from being treated so unfairly by Snape just exploded.

"I have said it."

"Yeah, _once_!"

"Why are you so obsessed with it? They're just words, they don't mean anything", Snape said through clenched teeth.

Harry took a step back from the furious Snape. He was about to scream back when Snape interrupted him. "Is it because no one's ever said it before? Because your poor parents died?"

Harry snapped and threw the plate at Snape, the chicken bits flying everywhere. Then he said coldly, "Well, atleast I can be grateful for not having your shitty parents. Why did he hit you by the way? Was he just drunk or were you just as big a pain in the ass when you were a kid?"

Snape said, "Fuck you", and walked out of the room leaving Harry standing in the messy livingroom.

"Fuck you too", he mumbled to the silence.

**A/N: I know. I'm evil. But anyway, you'll see how it works out in the next chapter, which is coming soon!**


	14. Chapter 14

**A/N: Hey there! New chapter and the next one will come some time next week! Read and review!**

Chapter 14

Harry woke up alone in the bed and first he thought Snape had had a nightmare and went up to work but then he remembered the fight. And then he remembered he had to get up for class. And then he realized that he'd missed his first class and was twenty minutes late to his second class.

He didn't have time for breakfast and didn't even stop to change his clothes. He'd fallen asleep in the clothes he'd worn the other day and they were wrinkly but looked okay. He cursed Snape as he ran to class. That idiot hadn't even woken him up! This couldn't be good for him, all this arguing and the stress and – Harry added as his stomach grumbled – the lack of food. No, it could not be good. And a small part of him blamed Snape, even though it might have been Harry himself who'd started the fight. And the things both of them had said. It hadn't been pretty, it really hadn't. Harry's guilt for what he'd said and the anger from what Snape had said clashed together in a mess that Harry was sure was going to result in a horrible headache.

When Harry ran up to the classroom his class was outside the door waiting for him.

"Sorry I'm late", Harry panted and unlocked the door to the classroom.

"We thought we were going to get an hour off", one of the kids said optimistically but Harry ignored him and muttered under his breath.

He spent whole morning snapping at the kids and even shouting at one of them for making a mistake and making him spill out all his ink all over his desk. He spent lunch avoiding Snape's eyes and slowly and painfully killing his mashed potatoes and sausages by stabbing them repeatedly with his fork. That was a little better than stabbing Snape repeatedly with something a lot sharper than a fork. And then, to make the day better, McGonagall wanted him to come up to her office in the afternoon.

"I do not accept tardiness among my teachers, Harry", she began and Harry grumbled under his breath again.

"I'm sorry, um, Minerva", he said. He'd almost said professor, but then he'd remembered that they were actually equals.

Then she smiled and Harry almost jumped off his seat.

"But it is only your second day and I think it's quite forgivable. The pupils are treating you well, right? There are no problems?" she said and Harry shook his head.

"They're all very nice. I just overslept."

Her smile turned from a happy one to one that Harry didn't recognize. It was maternal, he realized after a while.

"And is everything going well with the living arrangements?"

"Yeah. Yes, it is."

"Good", she said and smiled in a strange way.

Had she just called him up here to make smalltalk? That was kind of a waste of his time. He had lots of angry brooding he had to do after all.

Harry looked at her carefully. "Is there something else?"

"Yes. Severus visited me." 

Harry stiffened. "Okay. What did he say?"

McGonagall looked down at her desk. "He requested a change of quarters. Only for you", she added as if that was unclear.

Had Harry really gone that far over the line? Snape couldn't be making him _move out._ They'd lived together for just a few weeks. He couldn't be leaving. No. That was ridiculous.

Harry couldn't start crying in McGonagall's office either, but he did that too. "Oh", he said as McGonagall leaned forward in an attempt to comfort him. "Well, give me some new quarters, then."

See if I care, he wanted to say, but it was pretty obvious that he cared. He tried to ignore the tears running down his face.

"Harry. If you want to talk, I'm..." she began, but Harry stood up, interrupting her.

"I need to get back", he said. He needed to pack his things apparently. But he said, "Lots of grading to do, you know."

And he left, hoping that Snape wouldn't be in their quarters.

...

Snape was there. He was slouched in the couch with his eyes closed and Harry knew just by one look that he was drunk. He picked a bottle up and smelled it. Wine. Nice. A perfect ending to a perfect fucking day.

Snape laughed as Harry leaned over him to see if he was awake.

"How much have you drunk?"

He smirked again and moved in that slow, clumsy way that he did when he was drunk. Not that Harry had seen him drunk a lot, he rarely did drink alcohol and when he did he certainly didn't drink enough to get this drunk. Harry thought it had something to do with his father and how often he'd gotten drunk and hit him and his mother. Harry couldn't believe he'd insulted Snape about that. That was heartless.

All that anger he'd been dealing with melted away as Snape grabbed his hand and said, "A lot." Harry noticed he had trouble focusing on his face and his head swayed slightly

Harry didn't say anything. He didn't apologize. He stood and looked at the drunken Snape, trying to figure out what to do with him. He could just leave him there. It wasn't his problem anymore, he thought bitterly.

Harry decided to help him to the bed. He couldn't just walk away.

When he got Snape up, he leaned against him limply. "You need to sleep this off. Tomorrow's Wednesday. You need to teach tomorrow."

"What time is it?" Snape asked and Harry could barely hear what he was saying. He hated him like this. He wasn't Snape when he was drunk, he was someone else. Someone that Harry didn't like at all. Someone sloppy that made Harry uncomfortable.

He looked at his watch. "It's 6 in the afternoon."

Snape slurred something unintelligible and Harry shuddered. No, he didn't like this Snape.

Harry didn't even bother answering Snape, he just dragged him off to the bedroom and when Snape hit the bed he moved around a bit but then settled on his stomach and fell asleep.

...

Harry packed up his things and left before it got dark. When he got up to the Great Hall he realized that he didn't know where to go. He'd walked out from McGonagall's office before she'd had time to say anything else.

He looked down at the floor and wondered how he'd gotten in this mess. He shouldn't have said those things. But Snape shouldn't have said the things he'd said either. It was just such a fricking mess.

"Professor Potter?" a quiet voice asked.

Harry turned around and faced Eric Gray, a quiet first year Gryffindor. "Yes?"

He looked like he didn't know where to look, like he was looking in to the sun. Oh god. Harry really couldn't take any more nervous children.

"I was wondering about the homework", he said quietly but astoundingly even.

"Could we..." Harry was about to say 'Could we do this later?' when Eric started to cry.

He was so shocked that it took several minutes – it seemed – to pull Eric into an empty classroom. It was surprising, atleast in that moment, that someone else than Harry and Snape could get unhappy. He couldn't think like that. It was selfish.

"Hey. Hey, what is it?" Harry asked and put a hand on Eric's arm. He sniffled and cried loudly, like children did. He wiped his tears with the sleeve of his robe.

"What's wrong? Are... Are the other kids mean? Or do you miss home?"

Most of the first years were homesick, atleast at first. Harry hadn't been, but he only had the Dursleys to miss, so who could blame him?

"Yes", Eric blubbered.

"Miss your mum and dad?" Harry asked. His legs were starting to ache from crouching down.

"No, I miss Nan. My grandma. I don't have a mum and dad", he got out between sobs.

Oh. His parents had probably been killed in the war. The deatheaters had killed hundreds of people that had been considered threats to Voldemort. They'd killed people just for fun too, but that had been mostly muggles. Eric had probably grown up with his grandmother. Teddy would too, Harry remembered. He should go and visit Teddy. He'd been there a few times, but it was a long time since last time. He must be getting so big. What was he now, three? Or maybe four? Harry was his godfather, he should know that.

"I felt homesick too when I first came here", Harry lied. "It gets better, I promise. If you just try not to think about it, then you just... Don't think about it after a while. Okay?"

Lousy advice, but it was the best Harry could give.

"Okay", Eric said and nodded.

"So don't cry", Harry said and tried to smile.

How could he get so snowed in on fighting with Snape? This kid had lost his parents in a war. It was different from Harry losing his parents. He couldn't remember them. Eric had to have met his parents and he had to remember them. That was terrible. Way worse than Harry fighting with Snape.

**A/N: I wasn't sure if I should have kept the drunk Snape scene, but I decided to let it stay right where it is. I hope you didn't take it as a funny kind of drunk, because that certainly wasn't the point. Even though it made me slightly uncomfortable to write, I just wanted to show how hard Snape has taken this breakup. **

**And I know things are looking bleak but I promise **_**SPOILER**_** that they get back together in the end, even though it might not happen in the next few chapters. Hope you can bear with me and Harry and Severus meanwhile! **


	15. Chapter 15

Chapter 15

"Harry", Hermione begged. "Please. Come and see him. He's not doing too well."

She was talking about Snape. They were celebrating Christmas over at the Burrow and when they started cleaning up in the kitchen after everyone had left, they'd confronted him.

"How do you know that?" Harry asked suspiciously. "Have you gone to see him?"

Harry turned to Ron, who was staring at the floor. Hermione, though, looked straight at Harry when she said, "Yes. We went to see him. And..." she glanced over at Ron, "we're pretty sure he was drunk, Harry."

Snape hadn't been missing classes. He hadn't been drunk in any of them either. The idea that Hermione was lying popped in to his head. But she wouldn't lie, he knew that. But why couldn't he just ignore the whole Snape-thing? That would be so much easier. Why couldn't things be easy?

Harry leaned his head in his hands. "Look, I... Sirius was right. We're not _good _together. And me coming to see him won't help."

Hermione looked bordering on desperate. "Please..."

"Since when are you best buddies with Snape, anyway?" Harry asked angrily.

"Since you said you were going to spend the rest of your life with him", Hermione said harshly.

Harry glared at Hermione and stood up. "I need to get going."

"Harry, just visit him once", Ron said. "It can't hurt."

Ron too? Hermione yes, but Ron? Harry didn't know Ron liked Snape that much.

"We just want you to be happy", Hermione added.

Harry nodded. "Sure."

...

Harry lay slouched over his bed in his new quarters thinking about if he was going to go over to Snape or not. He looked out the window and his serious face lightened slightly. His new rooms had acual windows. It was still light outside even though it was late afternoon. He could only see the cloudy sky, but he knew that down below the snow lay like a blanket on the Hogwarts grounds. The Womping Willow was deep in winter sleep and the lake was frozen. It was very pretty. Harry thought about walking over to the window and looking at it, but changed his mind and rolled over on his stomach instead.

Why was stuff so complicated? He felt like such a child to be thinking like that. His life was so less complicated than some other people's lives. People's family and best friends had died, that was so much worse. He loved Snape. Why didn't he know what to do? Harry didn't want to apologize. And he didn't know if Snape would want him back. But maybe talking to Snape would make things better. Like Ron had said, it couldn't hurt. Right. It couldn't hurt.

...

Harry fidgeted outside of Snape's rooms. The wizard in the painting covering the door looked back at Harry.

"Just say I'm here", Harry grumbled. The dark wizard did not like Harry and Harry did not like him. He barely let Harry in when he was living there, it would be hard to get in there now that he and Snape were broken up.

"I'm not sure I can do that", the wizard said and looked Harry up and down from his arm chair.

"Let me in", Harry said, "or else there will be a whole lot of canvas flying around here."

The wizard's smug smirk faded and he said, "Let me see what I can do."

He disappeared and after a way too long wait the door swung open.

"Yes?" Snape asked before he even saw it was Harry. That was probably the only thing Snape had said to him since Harry moved out. They'd pretty much ignored each other the whole time since the first week of school.

"Hi", Harry said and Snape looked up at Harry with that frozen face that covered up his feelings.

Snape didn't say anything, so Harry continued. "So, I was wondering if we could talk."

Snape looked back in to the room where something moved, like a shuffle, and then he stepped out and shut the door except for a tiny crack.

He looked at Harry as if he expected him to say something more, but Harry was concentrated on the crack by the door.

"Do you... have company?" Harry asked and it dawned on him. Snape had someone in there.

Snape opened his mouth to say something, but nothing came out. He just pushed the door shut with his foot.

"I wanted to..." Harry began, but the person in Snape's quarters had caught him so off guard that he completely forgot that well rehearsed speech. "Who's in there?"

Snape didn't say anything and his silence bothered Harry. Then there was a push at the door and a head popped up. A man, around thirty maybe, with dark hair and the beginning of a beard awkwardly made his way out in the now crowded corridor. He had a small smile on his face that was way too content for Harry's liking.

"Um, bye", he said and Harry stared at him.

Snape mumbled, "Bye", and the man smiled one last time and opened his mouth to say something. Harry didn't even hear what it was. He kept his eyes closed so he wouldn't do something really bad. He just wanted the mystery man to leave, to get the fuck out of there. He had no right to be there. And when he heard the man's shoes click against the stone floor as he walked away he had to lean against the wall.

"Really? This is a school, you can't... You can't bring your..." Harry didn't know what to say next. What could you call the mystery beard man?

"It's the Christmas holidays. The pupils are gone."

Snape sounded angry. Why was Snape angry? Harry was supposed to be angry. Snape was the one who had slept with the beard guy. Who sleeps with guys with beards? That was just... stupid. Yeah, stupid, that's what it was.

"I suppose Weasley and Granger made you come here."

"Who was he?" Harry asked. He couldn't get the beard guy out of his head.

"I don't need your pity, Harry", Snape said and it hurt more than if he'd used Harry's last name. It reminded him of all the other times he'd said his name, of all the times they'd laid in bed and talked and all the times Harry'd fallen asleep in Snape's arms and all the times they'd just sat and read together. The feeling of Snape's warmth and his breathing against Harry's skin snuck in to Harry's head and made him feel all fuzzy and cloudy.

Snape said something that didn't stick in Harry's head. It wasn't possible.

"Did you sleep with... that guy?" Harry asked and ignored what Snape had said.

"Did you hear what I said?" Snape said and walked closer. Harry closed his eyes. Of course he'd heard what he'd said, it just hurt too much to really _hear _it_._ But Snape repeated it and Harry shook his head slowly.

"You don't mean that", Harry said weakly.

"Yes, I do", Snape said cruelly and leaned in. "I don't love you."

**...**

**A/N: I know, I'm terrible. But I think this is just how Snape would react to something like this. After all, he's been rejected, in a way, and he didn't strike me as a person who takes well to rejection. He struck me as the kind of person who, instead of actually talking it out, drinks and does other stuff (...) to forget about it. Hm. And he's just angry right now. Maybe he'll come to his senses... ;) And then we'll see if Harry forgives him... **

**Anyway, review and tell me what you think!**


	16. Chapter 16

Chapter 16

Harry stared up at Snape and then pushed him away. Snape looked at him defiantly and Harry didn't know what to do.

"I..." he started but realized he was crying so hard that he couldn't even form a sentence.

"Do you still want to talk?" Snape asked resentfully.

"You're not this cruel", Harry got out and walked away. But maybe he was this cruel, Harry thought as he sped up his pace. Maybe Harry just hadn't noticed it before because he was too in love to see it. Maybe he was that big of a jerk?

...

"…so I thought _pink_! Isn't that a good idea?" Amanda said. She'd been talking about her and Sirius' wedding for at least half an hour.

So? Why should I care? Harry screamed inside but just nodded. He was in London to shop for furniture, so he'd stopped by at Grimmauld place. That was a mistake. Amanda was all up in her wedding preparations.

"Yay. Pink", Harry said and sipped his tea.

"I've hardly seen you these last few weeks. How are you? How do you like teaching?" Sirius asked and Harry smiled.

"It's good. Nervous, but good."

Harry hadn't told Sirius that he'd broken up with Snape but he had to have heard the news from someone. Maybe he just wanted to pretend like nothing had happened, like Harry'd never been with Snape to begin with?

"How's the baby?" Harry asked tiredly, mostly because he knew it was a safe change of subject, because he knew they'd never stop talking about it. Amanda and Sirius looked down at her huge belly and they both grinned.

"Great!" Amanda said and grinned.

Yes, of course. Great. Perfect. Of course her pregnancy was fricking wonderful. Why did things always go so easy for her? She had a really nice guy and she definitely did not panic every time someone mentioned love, babies or marriage. And her parents didn't get killed by a psycho, leaving her all famous and screwed up. And, Harry was pretty sure about this, she definitely didn't have to kill said psycho and, because of that, get even more famous and screwed up.

"We heard about you and Severus", Amanda said and Harry wondered if they'd already stopped talking about their baby. It was a miracle, he'd mentioned the baby and they hadn't rambled on for hours. Amazing, a huge breakthrough!

"Oh. Well", Harry said and Amanda smiled sympathetically, although Harry thought it looked more condescending. But he couldn't trust his judgement around happy people nowadays, he got so bitter.

"We're very sorry", she continued, not getting the hint to stop talking about it. And Sirius didn't look sorry at all, he actually looked pretty pleased. Of course he would be pleased, he'd never wanted Snape around Harry.

"Okay", Harry said uncomfortably. It was still too fresh to talk about, too personal. They had no right to ask about that, or even mention it, Harry thought. Snape had actually said that he didn't love him. That would never be okay to talk about and Sirius and Amanda shouldn't be asking about it. "I have to go now, I think."

"Really? So soon?" Sirius asked and hugged Harry when he stood up.

"Yeah. I've gotta get going."

Amanda suddenly sneezed loudly and Sirius immediately rushed to her side.

"I'm sorry!" she said and wiped her nose. "Allergies. They get worse because, well..." she ended and looked up at Sirius.

"Because of me. Well, Padfoot", Sirius said and smiled weakly.

"Yes. But there's not much we can do, really", she said and frowned, which Harry thought was strange, but Sirius didn't seem to notice.

"Yeah, I try to not change in the house but-" Sirius began, but Amanda interupted him with a small shout.

"Oh!" she yelped and her hand went to her stomach.

"Is the baby coming?" Sirius almost shouted and Amanda nodded. "Now? Is... We need to go!"

"Can I help?" Harry said as Sirius jumped around the room picking up completely random stuff, it seemed to Harry anyway.

Amanda looked pale, but seemed calmer than Sirius, so Harry directed his question at her.

"I'd like you to be there", she said and Harry gulped.

"What? Right there in the room?" Harry asked, slightly panicky.

She smiled at him as Sirius disappeared out of the room. "No. You can stay in the waiting room if you like. But please, I'd like you to be there."

Harry hated himself for wondering, even just for a second, if she wanted him there just because he was famous. But even Amanda wasn't that shallow.

"Yeah. Sure, of course."

...

He expected it to be an easy 20 minute laybour, just because it was Amanda, but that kid did not go easy on her. It looked like she'd be staying in St. Mungo's over the night and if the kid still hadn't popped out they'd have to use some spell to do a C-section or something. Harry'd only heard the news from Sirius and he'd been so shook up that he'd hardly been able to get any information from him at all. Harry felt sorry for Sirius, he looked completely wrecked and couldn't seem to stand still. He'd walk in and out from the patient room where Amanda was to the hallway outside where Harry was sitting. Then he'd pace up and down and pinch the bridge of his nose.

"Is she okay?" Harry asked when he came out of the room for the fifth time.

"Yeah, she'll be fine", Sirius said, a pale and worried look on his face. "You should go home, this could go on for a long time."

"Are you sure? She doesn't want me to stay then? I can't help with anything?" Harry asked. It was almost one in the morning and Harry had to teach in a few hours, so he wasn't really protesting going home though.

Sirius looked up at him and frowned sleepily. "Um, yeah. There is one thing, you could floo her family and tell everyone that the baby's on its way."

"Yeah. I'd be happy to", Harry said and yawned.

He got Amanda's family's adress and flooed them. Her parents were both muggles, her dad was a doctor and her mother was a welder. They didn't seem used to heads just popping up in their fire places, but when they heard that Amanda were having the baby any minute now they seemed to get over the strangeness of talking to a floating head surrounded by fire and were just thrilled. They spoke really great English, something that Harry hadn't expected, but then he thought he'd been silly. They did speak with Swedish accents that got thicker the more worried and excited they got, but he could easily understand what they were saying. They asked for lots of details that Harry couldn't give them and then they said goodbye with huge smiles.

Then, after sending an owl to McGonagall about getting the day off from work, Harry flooed Hermione and Ron, who'd moved in together in a small house in a muggle suburb. Harry realized with shame that he hadn't even gone to visit them. He'd been too wrapped up in his own problems.

"Harry?" Hermione asked worriedly. "What's happened? What's wrong?"

Oh, right. He was flooing in the middle of the night, of course she'd think something was wrong.

"I'm fine. I'm at St. Mungo's with Amanda and Sirius, the baby's on its way", Harry said and Hermione lit up.

"That's great! Ron!" she shouted and there was a tired mumbling heard from another room. "Ron, Amanda's having the baby. Right now!"

Hermione had apparently been up already. She was sitting in behind a big, tidy desk with her hair in a loose braid. There was a sofa closest to the fireplace and a lot of book cases. The room wasn't big, but it didn't look too crowded either. It was cosy. Harry could see a dinner table and a few chairs through an open door that probably led to the kitchen. There was a hallway and a staircase to his right.

"Do you wanna crash here?" she asked and put a huge book back in one of the bookcases.

"You can tell I'm tired?" Harry asked and laughed.

"Yeah. You look exhausted", she said and smiled.

"You should see Sirius. I think I'm staying here, you know, they might need my help."

"Sure. But you know you're always welcome, right?" she said with a smile and sat down on the sofa.

Harry smiled too. "Yeah. Hey, what's with the big book?"

"Oh, you haven't heard? I'm studying for a job at the ministry. They make you do this test. It's all very boring."

"I'm so sorry I haven't been around, Hermione", Harry said after a minute of silence and she smiled softly.

"It's okay, I get it. So does Ron."

"You're both too good for me", Harry said and Hermione nodded.

"Of course we are"; she said and grinned. "Now go and see how Amanda is doing."

**A/N: I feel like I may have messed up on the time, I mean I tried to count so that she's been pregnant for nine months, but I'm not sure if I got it… Math is not my strong side. (Being totally awesome and hot and clever and funny is my strong side.) Anyway, if I'm wrong, big deal, pretend like I'm not. *****nervous laugh***** ^^'**

**Reviews are always welcome, so take the time to leave a little note and you'll make my day**


	17. Chapter 17

**A/N: Short chapter this time, but I hope you'll like it anyway. I'm leaving you with an agonizing cliffhanger, I know, but my updates have started to get more regular (every Wednesday) so you'll be bale to read the next chapter in a while. So anyway, review and I'll give you a treat!**

**Fun fact; the baby was named by the person who inspired the character Amanda, known here as BritishMenHaveHotAccents. **

Chapter 17

Sirius came out of Amanda's room at around seven. He had a huge grin on his face and Harry'd never seen him look so proud.

"How is she? Is it done?" Harry asked and Sirius just stepped aside so Harry could walk in.

Amanda was propped up against some pillows in the bed with an exhausted smile on her face. She looked very pretty in the early sunlight without any makeup on and her blonde hair sticking to her swetty forehead.

"Come meet your godchild", she said and he noticed the tiny package she was holding.

He looked over at Sirius who nodded and smiled so he walked up to the bed. The baby was the tiniest, wrinkliest, reddest thing he'd ever seen. And the prettiest. It definitely wasn't green either.

"It's a boy?" Harry asked breathlessly.

"Yeah", Amanda said and Harry reached a hand out. Or was that rude? Maybe he should ask before he started touching their baby.

"You can hold him if you want", she said as if she could read his mind.

"No", he splurted out but Amanda had already started giving him the baby.

The baby was heavy and warm. "Am I holding him right?" Harry asked weakly and they both smiled.

"You're doing fine", Sirius said and stroked the baby's cheek with his finger.

"He's so tiny", Harry said. He couldn't keep his eyes off him. He was so beautiful. "What are you going to call him?"

"Remus Moon Black", Sirius said and Harry smiled.

"That's good. It suits him."

...

Harry got back to his rooms at three in the afternoon. He'd stayed at the hospital with the happy family until Sirius had caught him dozing off in a chair in the waiting room when he was supposed to go get Sirius some coffee. He just wanted to go faint in his bed. His wonderful, soft... wonderful, soft bed. He was so tired he couldn't even come up with any more words to describe it.

"Harry", a voice said and Harry turned around with a huge yawn. So close to that soft and wonderful bed.

"What?" he asked tiredly. Snape was standing in the light, empty stairway up to the tower to Harry's quarters and Harry blinked stupidly at the sight.

"I..." Snape walked up the few steps up to Harry so that they were the same height.

"What do you want?" Harry asked maybe a bit unpleasantly.

"Are you okay?" he asked and Harry rubbed his eyes.

"Sure. Why wouldn't I be?" he asked. This was probably the longest conversation they'd had since they'd broken up, not counting the time they'd fought outside of Snape's quarters, when the beard guy had made his appearance.

"I don't know. I..." Snape stepped down one step and looked like he was about to leave.

"Why wouldn't I be?" Harry repeated and Snape hesitantly stopped walking away.

"I heard you were at St. Mungo's", Snape said and brushed some hair out of his face. "I just thought..."

And he said he didn't love him. Yeah, right. He was stuttering and making really bad excuses for caring.

"I'm really tired", Harry said plainly. "If you're done being angry at me and sleeping around with bearded guys, you're welcome to wait in my living room while I sleep and then we can talk about this", Harry said and walked in to his quarters, leaving the door open.


	18. Chapter 18

**A/N: **Hey! Thank you so very much for all the nice reviews! This chapter is… Kinda depressing, but I like it anyway. Hope you do too, and, as always, review!

Chapter 18

"Okay, thank you", Harry ended his class. "And remember, the homework on chimaeras is due on Thursday."

The class of seventh years shuffled to the door and Harry sat down behind his desk, took his glasses off and rubbed his eyes.

Harry had woken up early in the morning and hadn't been able to fall back asleep. Partly because he wasn't sleepy and partly because when he'd woken up, Snape hadn't been there. He'd stared at the spot on the sofa where he'd been sure Snape would have been sitting. Why had he been so sure that Snape would wait for him? He hadn't been exactly welcoming. It wasn't like he'd said, 'Honey, you're home!', and offered him his delicious dinner and then delicious sex. _That's _what he should have done.

There was a noise at the back of the classroom and Harry assumed it was a student who'd stayed late after class. But when he put his glasses back on Snape stood out from the blurriness. He walked up to the desk and Harry almost smiled at how odd the situation was. Harry shouldn't be the one behind the desk, Snape should.

Snape looked at him like he expected him to say something and when it was clear Harry wasn't going to start the conversation, he opened his mouth. "I did wait."

"Oh", Harry said and then when Snape didn't say anything else, he added, "Really."

"Yes", Snape answered, even though Harry hadn't pronounced it like a question. "But it got late and... I had rounds."

"Oh", Harry repeated plainly.

"Why were you at St. Mungo's?" Snape asked after a long silence.

"Er, Amanda was going to have the baby, and she wanted me there", Harry said and leaned back in his chair.

If Snape was surprised he didn't show it. "Is it a Rachel or a James?" he asked and Harry was surprised he'd remembered the names Amanda and Sirius had been considering.

"A Remus Moon actually", Harry said and smiled. He'd been so tense that when he smiled it felt like he was using muscles he'd never used before. "He's beautiful."

Snape nodded and Harry wondered when they'd start talking about what they were supposed to be talking about.

"It's my lunch now", Harry said after checking his watch. "Do you wanna walk with me?"

Snape nodded and Harry walked past him, listening to Snape's footsteps following him.

They walked next to each other in silence, listening to the portraits talk. Harry's classroom and office were on the seventh floor, close to the Gryffindor common room. There were lots of portraits and windows and he loved it because it was so lively and light all the time. They took the long way down to the Great Hall and Harry liked just walking next to Snape. They'd hardly seen each other these last few weeks or was it even months?`

They took a right to a smaller corridor with fewer portraits and Harry slowed down his pace.

"I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to be so... I'm sorry for what I said about your father. That was... Very cruel of me", Harry said and Snape kept his eyes straight ahead.

"It was my fault. I shouldn't have spoken about your parents like that", he said stopped walking, unexpectedly.

Snape reached his hand out and leaned in to kiss him, but Harry turned his head, leaving Snape grasping air.

"I can't", Harry said and then a small fourth year Ravenclaw hurried through the corridor.

They waited until he disappeared around the corner and then Snape demanded, "What? Why?"

"I can't just... I can't pretend like nothing has happened. I've done enough of that."

"Why not?" Snape asked. He was leaning over Harry with a frustrated look on his face.

"You..." Harry looked down on the floor, he couldn't take looking at Snape's angry face, because he knew he'd hurt him. "You just left. We had a fight and you gave up. I can't be with you if I know that every mistake and tiny insult might make you leave."

"I..." Snape said and stopped himself. When he spoke again his voice was quiet and soft. "I won't leave."

"I don't know that!" Harry hissed. "One day you say you love me and then you say you don't. Decide for christ's sake!"

"Excuse me, _professors_", McGonagall's sharp voice was heard and Snape looked up and took a step away from Harry, like an ashamed schoolboy. "No raised voices in the hallways, please."

"Sorry, professor", Harry mumbled and she nodded with a smile.

"Is everything okay here?" she continued and looked from Harry to Snape.

"Yes", Snape said quietly and Harry nodded in agreement.

"Are you on your way to the Great Hall? I hear the houseelves-" she began, but Snape interrupted her. He seemed to have gotten his courage back now.

"Minerva. We were having a conversation", he said sharply and Harry held his breath. How he could talk like that to McGonagall, Harry couldn't understand.

McGonagall's lips were a thin line when she nodded and said, "Harry", calmly, before walking away. Snape looked after her and when he was sure she was out of hearing range he spoke again.

"What do you want me to do, then?" he said quietly, sounding offended. "How can I prove that I won't leave?"

'Well, not sleeping with guys with beards could be a start', Harry wanted to say, but instead he said in a small voice, "I don't know if you can."

"Are you suggesting that we..." Snape stopped abruptly and Harry wanted so much to reach his hand up to Snape's cheek and hold his head up, to tell him that everything was going to be okay and comfort him. But he couldn't do that, he knew he couldn't do that, because then he wouldn't be able to say no. He'd give in to Snape and then he'd move all his stuff back to Snape's quarters and maybe they'd even find that perfect house to move in to. But then they'd fight again and it would all happen all over again. And if Snape left him again... If Snape left him again he wouldn't be able to come back from it. He couldn't take another breakup.

"Harry", Snape said, almost whispered, and Harry looked up. Snape's dark eyes were fixed on his and there was no well practised emotionless mask. There was just Snape and he looked the most vulnerable Harry had ever seen him. "Please. I love you", he said and Harry had to look away.

The classroom door next to them swung open with a loud bang and their little quiet bubble burst. The students rushed out, loudly babbling and chatting and the corridor was full of life. Harry thanked his luck for the distraction, he wouldn't have been able to stand one more second alone with Snape. It was too hard having to reject him, it went against everything he knew. His whole body screamed at him that he was an idiot, that Snape was right there, apologizing. Wonderful, amazing Snape was standing right in front of him! His skin wanted so bad for Snape to touch him, and why didn't he touch him, why weren't they standing closer? Why wasn't Harry kissing the bloody guts out of him? Why was he just standing there? And why was he turning away, why was he walking away, leaving Snape alone, surrounded by the bustle of students making their way down for lunch? Why was he alone in another corridor when he could be with the warm, safe Snape?

...

Ginny manouvered her broom easily through the air, making it look extremely simple. She dove and Harry knew exactly how she was feeling, the air flowing past her, pulling at her hair, hitting her face with surprising strength. She leveled out and was only a few decimetres away from the Snitch when she carefully reached her hand out. It turned a sharp left and she followed like she was attached to it. Then her hand closed around the fighting Snitch and she had it. The gold in her hand glimmered in the sun and she smiled back at him happily as she made her way back to him.

"You're brilliant", Harry said and her grin got wider.

"Really?" she asked and landed gracefully on the tramped up snow in her backyard. "The coach says I need some more practice on my turns."

She'd gotten a place as a chaser in the Holyhead Harpies, the all women's quidditch team, after the wedding. She loved it, being able to do what she was really good at and getting payed quite a sum to do it.

"Your coach's an idiot, you play perfectly", Harry said and smiled.

She pulled her gloves off and put them down on the table next to Harry. "Thank you. Now, you look like you're freezing, we should get you a warm cup of tea."

"I'd love that", Harry said and followed her in to the house.

The house had a big garden which in the summer looked beautiful. There were big, fluffy bushes surrounding the house and the garden, since they – even if they lived very secluded in the countryside – technically were in a muggle area. Ginny could practise quidditch without any peeping neighbours and they could use magic without anyone accidentally seeing them. The house was a quite big brick house, which had been an old farm before they moved in there. It was a two story house, with four bedrooms on the top floor and a big kitchen – and diningroom, livingroom and office on the down floor. Despite it being so big, Ginny had managed to make it look cozy and warm, more like a big version of the Burrow than a small version of the Malfoy Manor.

The door they walked in through led to the kitchen and Harry sat down by their big wooden table while Ginny poured him a cup of tea.

"So, professor", she said and let her hair out from the ponytail she'd kept it in, "How are things at Hogwarts?"

"You know... The teachers are tired, the students are either stressed from all the tests or making up new pranks as we speak."

"Any new 'Fred and George's?" Ginny asked and Harry laughed.

"No, I don't think anyone can match up to Fred and George."

"You remember that time they made a hallway into a swamp?" she asked and laughed, as she put away some clean dishes in a cupboard.

"And Filch had to row everyone around in that silly little boat? Of course", Harry said and warmed his hands by holding on to his warm cup tightly. "I heard the team are doing well."

"Yeah, we've won the last few matches. You should come see us sometime", she said and sat down opposite Harry when she'd finished cleaning up in the kitchen.

It was already starting to get dark outside, even though it was only a little after six. There was frost on the window Harry looked out of and through it he saw the snowy backyard. In the place Ginny used as a Quidditch pitch the snow was dirty and pressed hard against the ground, but the rest of the garden was white and fluffy. The snow smoothed out all the edges and made it all very 'Christmas postcard'-ish. On the Hogwarts grounds the snow had melted but here the cold had stuck and was going to stick for another couple of weeks apparently.

"How's the family?" Harry asked and loved how they could just make small talk like this.

"Mum's freaking out a little about how everyone's moving out. Yesterday she made ten pies, just cuz she forgot it was just her and dad", she said and smiled slightly. "Dad almost ate himself to death."

Then Ginny looked down in to her tea. "She made a Christmas sweater for Snape."

Harry forced himself to laugh and Ginny heard how fake it sounded.

"Oh, I'm sorry. Maybe you just want to forget the whole thing?" she asked and bit her lip.

"No. No, it's fine. What did it look like?"

"It was green, of course. And then there was a big black 'S' on the chest and little snakes on the sleeves", she ended matter-of-factly.

Harry's had been Gryffindor red with with a big black 'H' on his chest and a mysterious little squiggly line that Harry suspected was a badly removed snake.

"Wow. That's..." Harry said and then there was a soft noise in the hall as the door to the house was opened and shut and Ginny stood up with a forgiving smile, barely covering up that genuine, happy smile when Draco walked in.

"Hey", he said and Ginny hugged him. "It's freezing outside."

Malfoy had lost the sunburn but now his cheeks were flushed from the cold wind outside. He was carrying a package under his arm and Ginny curiously peeked at it.

"Is it for me?" she asked with a small smile and Malfoy nodded.

"I picked it up at that new Quidditch shop", he said and Ginny grabbed the present excitedly.

"Really?" she asked and Malfoy smiled.

"Yes, 'really', silly", he said and Harry felt like he was intruding when he kissed her neck fondly.

"I'd better be on my way", he said and stood up. It was so strange to think that he could have been the one kissing Ginny's neck, that he could be the one she'd smile to when he came home.

"So soon?" Ginny asked. "You're not staying for dinner?"

Harry shook his head, already half way to the front door. "Nah, I'll see what the house elves have mixed up for me."

"You sure?" Malfoy said, to Harry's surprise. Harry and Malfoy weren't enemies anymore, not since Ginny had told Harry they were dating, but they weren't exactly friends either. Harry saw no reason why Malfoy would want him to stay. It did sound honest though, so Harry stopped and nodded slowly.

"I guess I could stay", Harry said and Ginny – _and_ Malfoy, with his arms still around Ginny's waist – smiled. "I mean, if it's not too much trouble."

"No, of course not", Ginny said. "I'd better start on dinner, then."

Harry stood awkwardly and watched them make small talk about their day as Ginny waved her wand, making knifes start chopping and ingredients jump out from cupboards. They had a house elf, Ginny explained, but she liked to cook herself. Their house elf, Nibbles, did most of the cleaning and washing up. Harry guessed that Hermione didn't know about that. But it was good that they had a house elf, Harry thought, they'd treat her well, different from how some other families treated their house elves. Malfoy was probably used to having a house elf and Ginny probably wanted one, the Weasleys had never been abled to afford one.

"You always do the cooking?" Harry asked and then heard how mean and condesending that sounded. Malfoy had been nice to him and then he'd sounded like that, wondering if Ginny always did all the work.

"Draco can't cook", she said and Malfoy huffed, sounding insulted.

"Yes, I can", he said.

"Sure you can, sweetie", she said and shook her head slightly at Harry.

"I can!" Malfoy said. He grabbed a piece of the bread Ginny'd just sliced up and put it in his mouth before he offered the bread basket to Harry.

The meal was great, Ginny wasn't as good a cook as her mother, but almost. She'd made carrot soup and salad (she definitely cooked healthier food than her mother) and for dessert they had fudge cake and whipped cream (well, a bit healthier atleast). When they were finished eating it was dark outside and Harry was very full, with fudge cake coming out of his ears. They ate in the kitchen, at the small table there, they only used the dining room when they had guests.

"And you don't count as a guest", Ginny'd said with a small smirk.

And then it was time for Harry to leave. He made it out in to the cold night – despite Ginny's protests that he should stay the night – and he apparated home to Hogwarts. He walked the path up to the school and the night was chilly but not as cold as it had been at Ginny and Malfoy's house.

He felt sick to his stomach and it wasn't just because he'd stuffed himself with cake. He missed Snape so much, he'd realized that when he watched Ginny and Malfoy. They were so sweet with each other, they were so... But did Harry want Snape, the person, or did he just want to get married? What if he was so blinded by everyone showing him how fun being a couple was? What if he got married and then when it wasn't what he expected it would be he got sick of it? What if he regretted his decision?

Harry frowned and hurried on his steps. How come that when he had a guy that wanted to marry him, he didn't want to get married and now, when there was no Snape anymore, he did want to get married?

**A/N: **I know, might have been a little boring with the whole Ginny/Draco scene, but I liked it, I wanted to show how they lived and all that. And, since their wedding was in the start, they do kinda have some half-important roles here. Tell me what you think!


	19. Chapter 19

**A/N: **Hi! Hope you like this chapter and, well, have a good read. And thank you to everyone who gave me such sweet and helpful reviews and thanks to you who added me to your alerts or favourites list.

Chapter 19

"So we thought you could hold the baby", Amanda said and looked down at the bundle in her arms. "At least during the ceremony."

"Yeah, that's fine", Harry said and smiled. They were going over the last few details before the wedding. Harry couldn't help sniggering to himself, Sirius looked so ridiculous with his reading glasses on, scribbling down everything Amanda said.

Sirius looked up when Amanda smiled encouragingly at him. "And I'd love for you to be the best man, Harry", he said.

Harry grinned happily. "Of course. But, don't I have to plan the stag night? I don't know if I'll have time for anything big, the wedding's next week." Plus, he'd never planned a party before.

"We can just go to a club or something", Sirius said the same time as Amanda said, "He's not having a stag night."

They looked at each other and Harry had to fight hard to keep a serious face.

"Honey, a bachelor party?" Amanda asked and put a hand on Sirius' arm.

"I can't _not_ have a bachelor party, sweetie", Sirius said and Harry's jaw almost fell to the floor. This was their first disagreement ever – the first one that Harry'd ever seen or heard of anyway. He'd never even heard them snap at each other or raise their voices. And still, this 'fight' had all their usual cute nicknames. Maybe they were pronounced with a bit more sharpness than usual, but still.

"A bachelor party is just an excuse for guys to get drunk and stare at some cheap stripper", Amanda said, still in a sugar sweet voice. It was... kind of creepy.

Sirius looked like he was about to say... No, he wouldn't!

"What's wrong with that?"

He would. What an idiot. Even _Harry_ knew it wasn't a good idea to say that.

Amanda looked like she was about to explode and Harry was relieved when she dumped the baby off in Harry's arms before she did.

"'What's wrong with that'? '_What's wrong with that'?_" she repeated loudly. "_Sweetie_, you can't be serious!"

"I am serious!" Sirius said. Harry was intreagued. It was like watching a quidditch game and knowing that that player wasn't pulling up fast enough to miss the ground or that a bludger was heading straight for that player's head.

"You are actually going to leave me alone with the baby and go out drinking?" Harry thought that that was a bit harsh. Amanda hadn't exactly been an innocent little girl before she'd met Sirius, she'd actually been quite the party girl.

"I wouldn't leave you alone with the baby! You'd have a bachelorette party!" Sirius said accusingly.

"I don't want a bachelorette party", Amanda said and crossed her arms childishly.

"Your parents are crazy", Harry mumbled to the baby, who looked up at him with huge eyes. "Yes, they are."

"I wouldn't get too drunk. Harry'd be there to watch me!" Sirius said and turned to Harry who looked up at them with a shocked face. He must look like a deer in the headlights.

"Harry?" Amanda demanded, still with her arms crossed.

They looked down at him angrily, like it was his fault that they'd started fighting. "Um..." Harry said stupidly. "I..."

Harry looked up at Sirius desperately, but got no help there. He didn't know what to say. If he took Sirius' side in the fight, Amanda would be angry, but if he took Amanda's side, Sirius would be angry.

"Sure", Harry said and Sirius smiled winningly at Amanda. Sirius was after all Harry's godfather.

"You'll make sure he doesn't act too inappropriately?" Amanda asked, biting her lip.

"Sure", Harry repeated slowly, glancing carefully between Amanda and Sirius.

Sirius hit Harry lightly on the arm. "Great", he said happily and then turned to Amanda and repeated, "Great!"

Then the baby started crying and Amanda softly said, "Hey, sweetie...! Darling...", and Harry gave her the baby who'd now started screaming, his face looking like a scrunched up tomato. Yeah, babies weren't all that cute. They screamed and pooped and... Yeah, that was possibly all that they did. But then the baby yawned hugely, blinking its eyes and Harry sighed. He'd lied, babies were so fricking cute it was unbelievable.

Sirius looked like he wanted to say something else, but Amanda had exclaimed, "Feeding time!", and Harry had hurried off before she'd pulled down her shirt.

...

Ron looked down at the notes they'd scribbled down and frowned. "Is that all?"

"Mhm", Harry said. They'd barely written half a page of things to do with Sirius on his bachelor party and they weren't even good ideas. But Sirius could blame himself for not telling him in time.

"I thought we were making progress", Ron mumbled and took another sip of his butterbeer.

"Why don't you invite some of his friends and then just take him to a strip club or something?" Hermione said, leaning on the counter, nibbling on one of the cookies Ron had dug out of a cupboard.

"Hey, you're not supposed to be hearing this. You might tell Amanda, she's not supposed to know what dirty deeds her fiancé is doing on his bachelor party", Ron said causing Hermione to smile and kiss him on the cheek.

"Oh, don't worry, I'm not telling Amanda", Hermione said, stealing another cookie. "She'd love to know, but I'm not telling her."

"Seriously, you have any ideas?" Harry asked and slumped forward over the table.

"You could take him to a quidditch game..." Hermione brainstormed. "Or let him play quidditch, that's even better."

"We're gonna let him play quidditch?" Harry asked sceptically. "Can't he do that any time?"

"Okay then, see problems if you want to do that. I was just trying to help", Hermione said, but didn't seem genuinely angry, just teasing.

"Fine then, we'll invite some of his friends and then we'll take him to play quidditch..." Harry was quiet for a moment while he thought. "And then we'll get him drunk at some bar. He'll probably wake up the next morning, not remembering anything, and assume he had a good time because of his massive hangover."

"Good plan, mate", Ron said and Hermione shook her head in amusement.

Harry smiled and looked out the window. From the kitchen window Harry could see the empty, dark street outside of Hermione and Ron's house. The street lights' yellow glow was reflected in the wet street, reminding Harry of rainy nights at Privet Drive.

"Do you wanna stay the night?" Hermione asked after following Harry's gaze.

"Sure. If you want me here."

"Not really, mate", Ron said with a grin.

"Of course you can stay. Ron, go get the sheets and the extra pillow."

"Sorry", Harry said as Ron disappeared up the stairs to get the bedding. "It feels like I'm just living of my friends right now."

"Why do you say that?" Hermione asked and started clearing the table.

"I keep eating and sleeping at the Weasleys', at Ginny's, here..." Harry said and grabbed his own bottle, putting it next to some other empty bottles. "It's just a bit... _empty_ at home, you know."

"Look, we all think you're being silly", Hermione said and looked at Harry with a piercing gaze.

"'We all'? And being silly about what?" Harry asked, looking intently at his hands on the counter.

"Why are you insisting on not getting back together with Sna– Severus?" Hermione asked and Harry looked up at her. Did she really have to drag that up? It had been months since Harry'd moved out of Snape's rooms.

"Look, I..." Harry said and then stopped himself. Hermione was still staring sternly at him, her hands on her hips. He was about to say that Snape didn't love him, but that would be lying. He did love him, he'd just said that he didn't. "I don't want to talk about it, 'Mione. Okay? I'm tired."

"Why do you two look so serious?" Ron said with a smile, as he came back with his arms full with white sheets, a pillow and a duvet.

Hermione sighed and then smiled at Ron. "Let's make up the sofa for Harry."

...

Sirius was drunk. Very drunk, Harry thought as he looked at his godfather that was slurredly singing something that sounded way to much like 'Mamma Mia'. Harry wasn't exactly sober either. Neither were Ron or the other people invited to the stag party. They'd done as planned and had hired a quidditch field to play on. Some people had brought alcohol, so there had been lots of people riding around drunk on brooms. Luckily no one had gotten seriously injured, even though there had been some accidents.

Then they'd gone to a small wizarding bar, where everyone had gotten even more drunk. Some people were doing target practise on some empty beer bottles, some were shooting darts (Harry was a little worried there), some were playing drinking games and some were just intent on getting as drunk as possible. But the point of some of the drinking games were to get as drunk as possible, so those two activities sort of melted together.

They'd gotten a list of people to invite from Sirius, there were people there that he knew from Hogwarts – from both his student days and teaching days – and people he made business with. They'd invited Neville, Dean and Seamus too, even though Seamus hadn't shown up. Harry was just sitting and wondering where Seamus was when Dean sat down next to him.

"Why are you sitting here all alone?" he asked as he sat down next to Harry and looked out against the crowded bar. Harry could smell the alcohol on his breath, but he didn't seem too drunk.

Harry smiled. "I'm kinda tired, don't feel like messing around. Hey, where's Seamus?"

"How should I know?" he asked and shrugged.

"Oh, I thought you two were..." Harry said. Dean and Seamus had been going out for almost two years.

"Not anymore", Dean said and Harry thought he could hear atleast a little bit of bitterness in his voice.

"I'm sorry. When?"

"It was official about two months ago, but it was pretty bad before that too", Dean said and swallowed a mouthful of beer.

"Wow. And you two seemed so perfect for each other", Harry said. He knew he could be making Dean sad when he was talking about it, but Dean didn't seem sad.

"You think?" he asked with a smile.

"Yeah. How long were you together really? When we were in school I never would have guessed you were... You know..." Harry laughed at how silly he sounded. "Were you together then already?"

Dean was still smiling when he said, "We fooled around a bit in fifth and sixth year. I think even before that I knew that Seamus wasn't just my best friend. When I saw him right before the battle at Hogwarts, I was just so happy that he was safe, that was when I really knew I loved him", Harry's smile faded when he looked at Dean who'd stubbornly fixed his eyes on some of the dart players. He looked back at Harry with a grin, that seemed a little fake. "You seriously didn't suspect that we were more than friends in school?"

"No", Harry laughed.

"I didn't either. I mean you and Snape. You kept it a secret for quite a while, right?" Harry heard by the tone of his voice that he'd been wanting to ask that question for a long time.

"Yeah. We..." Harry stopped and Dean raised his eyebrows.

"Go on."

"He was sleeping over at Ron's family's house, the summer before seventh year. I went up to get a glass of water and he was up too and... Well, we started fighting, I don't even remember about what, and then I'd kissed him."

"I could never think of him like that. He's fricking scary!"

Harry laughed and Dean looked him up and down before he asked, "Do you wanna dance?"

"Yeah. Yeah, I'd like to dance", Harry said and Dean smiled, more honestly this time.

Harry didn't recognize the song, but it was loud and had a beat and that was all that mattered. Dean was a quite good dancer and Harry – who wasn't such a good dancer – just tried to keep up. They danced for maybe three songs until Harry shouted that he had to use the bathroom and slipped away.

The bathroom, tucked in the back of the pub, had that naked flourescent light that made everything look cold and damp. Harry didn't really have to use the bathroom, he just had to get away from the loud noise and shouting people. It wasn't that he wasn't having fun, he just wasn't used to all that.

There was a knock at the door and then Harry heard Dean's hesitant voice, "Harry?"

"Yeah?" Harry opened the door and heard the distant throbbing of the music more clearly. Dean smiled and Harry couldn't help smiling back. "Did you want something?"

"Yeah", Dean said and then he leaned in and kissed him.

Harry'd only kissed four people; Snape, Ginny, Cho and Theodore Nott. Dean was... Dean was confident when he kissed, he knew he that he was good at it. He was careful and soft, but still, his hands grabbed Harry's neck firmly and kept him still.

"How was that?" he asked and Harry nodded breathlessly.

"Why...? Um..." Harry asked and then got his speech back. Dean wasn't as good a kisser that Harry was speechless, but when your good friend started snogging you, _that_ made you speechless. "Are you sure this is such a good idea?"

Dean closed the door behind him before he answered. "Why not?"

He pressed his lips against Harry's again and this time his hands stroked up Harry's side, making him shiver.

"Hey", Harry said and Dean broke away with a soft intake of breath. "You just split up with Seamus, I just split up with Severus. I just don't know if we should."

Dean backed away and leaned against the sink. "Right."

And then Harry thought, why not? Snape had done it, why couldn't he? It wasn't like he'd be cheating, he and Snape weren't together, not anymore. He wouldn't even have to tell anyone if he didn't want to.

"Screw it", Harry said and Dean smiled again. He had amazingly bright teeth, Harry had time to think before he was pushed up against the closed door, Dean's mouth covering his. He softly parted Harry's lips and moved his tongue slowly inside Harry's mouth. His hands felt warm through Harry's thin T-shirt, as they – hurriedly, unlike his mouth – moved up his chest and his sides. Harry broke away from the kiss and moved his mouth to Dean's neck. He bit down carefully on Dean's slightly swetty skin and Dean let out a surprised moan.

"Wait", Dean said and shifted slightly. "You wanna do this here?"

"Where else is there?" Harry asked let his hand wander up under Dean's shirt.

"Mm, yeah. You're right", Dean murmured and pulled his shirt off. His chest was muscled and when Harry put his hand on the smooth skin Dean smiled and leaned in to kiss him again.

**A/N: **Yeah. You might not like this turn of events, but that's how I wrote it… I just think the whole idea of Harry being all "it's just Snape that matters" kinda pathetic. I mean, even in the books he has kissed, what, two people and had sex only with Ginny… Maybe I'm ruined by society or something, but that's not realistic to me… I can't say that this means that Harry's in love with Dean, but as he said, he's "sure" he's over Snape and he's "moving on". He might have been a little drunk too.

Anywho, the wedding's in the next chapter, I think, and Snape is invited, so you'll see what that happens. Review, please!


	20. Chapter 20

**A/N: **New chapter, hope you'll like it. It ends a bit sudden, but otherwise it would have been too long, so I decided to cut it there. Anyway, thanks again for all the nice reviews!

Chapter 20

"Hey, watch out!" some guy shouted as he pushed past Harry with a tray full of empty glasses.

"Sorry", Harry mumbled and made his way towards the back door.

Amanda and Sirius had decided to have the wedding at the Burrow, mostly because Mrs Weasley had been nagging them about it. She must have been feeling lonely, going from a house of nine to just her and Mr Weasley and even he was gone at work most of the time. They were going to have it in the garden, like Bill and Fleur had, but Amanda didn't seem worried about copycat-ing their wedding.

The garden was decorated with flowers in pink and white and there were white and pink ribbons everywhere. Someone had made an enchanted ceiling made of (guess what) pink and white ribbons and flowers. There were round tables scattered all around, and between them someone had rolled out a carpet, which lead up to the place where Sirius and Amanda would say 'I do'.

It was pretty, not really what Harry would have done, but pretty. The ceiling didn't let in any light, and because the wedding was going to happen in the evening, they had hung up lanterns. It would probably look even more beautiful when the darkness came, but it was only four o'clock, when Harry arrived there.

Harry was the best man, and he had to be there early to learn what he was supposed to do. Plus, he was supposed to be holding the baby during the ceremony.

Harry didn't have to knock before he walked in to the house. The doors were wide open, letting in the chilly March air, but when he stepped through the door, the warmth swallowed him. Someone had probably hexed the doorways to not let out the warmth.

"Seen the bride?" Harry asked someone passing by, and took a bite out of an hors d'oeuvre he found on a tray.

The guy pointed upstairs and Harry smiled. "Thanks."

The house was full of stressed people messing around with food and drinks and decorations, or just running around shouting instructions about place settings or the delayed DJ. Harry managed to get upstairs without getting his head chopped off by a passing tray or getting knocked down by any of the people rushing past him.

He found Amanda in her bedroom, amazingly calm, feeding the baby.

"Woah. Did not need to see that", Harry said and brought his hands up to his eyes.

"Don't be a prick", Hermione said, making soft cooing noises at the baby.

"Harry, you're here! You can take your hands down", Amanda added and Harry hesitantly did.

"Hey, where are all the guys?" Harry asked and all the girls, Amanda, Ginny, Hermione, Luna, and Hannah looked up at him with surprised expressions.

"We kicked them out. They're not allowed in here", Ginny said and then they all let out soft 'aww...'s when the baby gargled.

"And I don't count?" Harry asked and they all looked up again, like he'd disturbed something sacred.

"No", Hermione answered, not letting the baby out of sight. "You're not going to ruin the bride's innocence. You're more likely to ruin... Well, the groom's innocence."

Harry let out a disgusted groan. "Oh, thanks, Hermione. Really needed that picture in my head."

Amanda laughed softly. "Hey, take the baby for a while, will you? I need to get dressed."

"Me?" Harry asked and Hermione and Ginny immediately jumped up and offered to take the baby instead of Harry.

"No, no", Amanda calmed them. "Harry needs to practise. Don't want him dropping him during the ceremony."

Yeah. Wouldn't want him to do that. She dumped the baby in Harry's arms and Harry looked down at the sleepy bundle. No, he wouldn't drop him. Little Remus Moon would be safe with him.

Harry smiled and then looked up at all the women staring at him and sharing small, knowing smiles with each other.

"What?" Harry asked and they all giggled like one, bubbly and utterly adoring, person.

"Nothing", Ginny said, glowing.

"Yeah, nothing", Amanda added.

"It's just..." Hannah started.

"You just look..." Hermione searched for words.

"... you look very happy. Like a father", Luna ended and they all smiled back at him.

"Okay..." Harry said suspiciously, looking between them.

"Hey, I hear Dean's your date", Ginny said, and again Harry was reminded that they'd both dated her. That must be weird for her.

"Really?" Amanda exclaimed as her head popped out of the big fluffy dress.

"Mhm", Harry said and scooted the baby up higher. The baby was still sound asleep, and hopefully he would stay that way the entire night.

"When did you decide that?" Hermione asked, and shot Harry a slightly annoyed look for not telling her.

"Last night", Harry said. They'd decided to go together, partly because their first dates had backed out, partly because they wanted to piss off said dates and partly because... Well, Dean was really nice and, well, not that bad to look at either. At least he wouldn't have a boring evening.

"Oh", Amanda said and then did a twirl in her dress, making the other exclaim 'wow's and 'oh my's, effectively changing the subject.

"You look beautiful", Harry said. She did look beautiful. Maybe not the way Ginny had looked beautiful in her sleek and elegant dress, but she still looked beautiful in a puffy, over the top way. The dress was a white, fluffy dress with the top decorated with pink rhinestones.

"Thank you", she said and practically beamed with joy. She added to the baby, "Do you think mummy looks pretty too?"

The baby kept sleeping, but she seemed to take that as a yes.

"So.. I'll go look for the rest of the guys", Harry said and Ginny jumped to get the baby out of his arms.

"Yeah, you do that. And if you see Sirius tell him not to try and sneak in here again, okay?" Amanda asked.

"And tell Ron-"

"I'm not an owl!" Harry said with a grin and Hermione stopped talking.

"Fair enough!" she shouted as he shut the door and started strolling down the hall.

He felt like he was on a scavenger hunt as he searched the house for the rest of them. He looked in all the bedrooms, but no guys and no sign of them either. He did, however, find a disoriented Dean by the back door.

He smiled that blindingly white smile of his as he noticed Harry walking up to him.

"Hey", he said and Harry smiled too.

"Hey", he answered and then there was that awkward moment where they didn't know whether to kiss or hug or not do anything and they settled on a small peck on the lips. Dean smelled clean, like soap, like he'd just taken a shower. He was dressed in an elegant, black dress robe.

A few guests, maybe ten or twelve, had arrived and were guided to their seats by men dressed in white robes, with pink flowers peeking out of their pockets.

"You're early", Harry said and Dean smiled.

"Yeah, you too", he said and jumped away from someone running past him with flowers.

"I'm the best man, I had to be here", Harry said and then realised how harsh it sounded, so he added. "But it's nice to have you here. Some company you know."

"Yeah", Dean said distantly and let his eyes roam over the dining area with the flower ceiling and the lanterns and the tables and the long carpet. "Wow. They've really... gone big."

"Yeah", Harry agreed. "You haven't seen Ron or Sirius or...?" Harry asked and Dean nodded.

"They're over there, just behind the bushes", Dean said and Harry lit up.

"Great, I've been looking for them everywhere!" he said and Dean nodded again.

Okay. Awkward silence getting worse.

"So, should we get back to them or...?" Harry asked, already on his way.

Dean hesitated. "Well, Harry I kind of wanted to..."

Another waitress or whatever she was pushed past them and they moved away from the doorway.

"You know", Dean began, "last night I was... I was drunk and I just want you to know that..."

God, spit it out Dean. '...you were a lousy lay'? '...I have chlamydia, sorry I didn't tell you before'? '...I wasn't myself last night, it was my evil twin'?

"... I don't know if we made that clear last night but this isn't serious, right?" Dean ended and he looked so heartbroken. He was terribly bad at being a jerk.

"I think we covered that last night", Harry said. "And look, we don't have to keep seeing each other. Just tonight it would be nice not to be alone."

Dean made a relieved noise. "Exactly what I was thinking."

"Good. Now, can we go...?" Harry asked and gestured to the bush.

"Oh, yeah, of course."


	21. Chapter 21

**A/N: Hey! I'm in this chapter! I'd almost forgotten that, but when I went back to read it I was like "Right!". Anyway hope you like this chapter! Some Snape being jealous ( which kind of serves him right…) and Sirius being nervous and me being… dirty. Enjoy!**

Chapter 21

Harry and Dean found Sirius, Ron, Neville and Seamus leaning against the bushes out back. They were staring at the sunset, Ron, Neville and Seamus with normal, slightly bored expressions and Sirius with sweat running down his forehead. He looked stressed and nervous.

"Hey", Harry said and they all looked up at them. "Amanda told me to tell you not to try and sneak in again." 

Dean put an arm around Harry, obviously trying to make Seamus jealous, maybe on purpose, maybe unconciously. Either way, it worked, Seamus looked up at them both with a, first surprised and then pissed off look.

"So, you went together then?" he asked, trying to be neutral, but failing miserably.

"Yeah", Harry said and then Dean kissed him passionately, maybe a little over the top too, because when they were finished they all looked at him with shocked expressions.

Harry sat down next to Sirius, probably smudging his clothes with grass, but who cared.

"How was Mandy?" Sirius asked and Harry tried really hard not to frown at the nickname.

"She was good. The dress-"

"Shhh!" Sirius exclaimed, a slightly mad look on his face. "We're not supposed to be talking about that!"

"I think you're only supposed to not _see_ the dress. It doesn't matter if someone describes it", Neville said and Harry realised they'd been out here for a long time, calming Sirius.

"So are you excited about getting married?" Harry asked cheerfully and the others glared at him behind Sirius' back.

And then Sirius went on a long, panicked rant and Harry understood the glaring. Okay, the wedding was an 'off limits-topic'.

"Okay, Siri, okay. Lovely", Harry said, interrupting him. He changed the subject to some quidditch game and they talked on about that for a while, before Sirius announced that he needed to stretch his legs and walked off 50 yards out on the field.

"He seems a little stressed out", Harry said and all of them, except Seamus, who was glaring at Harry and Dean, groaned.

"'A little'?" Ron said. "I'm starting to think we might need to take turns guarding him so he doesn't run away or..." Ron's eyes shifted out to Sirius strolling around on the green plain. "...walk into trouble."

Harry laughed. "Oh, no worries. He won't run away."

"You never know", Neville pointed out. "It might seem like he loves her but then he'll bail out in the last moment."

"Wow. Bitter, Neville", Harry said and gnawed on a piece of grass. "I don't think it has anything to do with love though. He'd never leave her, because he knows that if he did she'd go after him with a meat cleaver."

"You think?" Dean asked.

Did he think Amanda would go after Sirius with a meat cleaver? Yes. She might have grown into the mother role spectacularly, but she was still crazy.

"Yeah. A woman scorned and all that", Harry said and leaned back against the soft bush.

"Is that Sirius?" Hermione asked, popping up where the bush opened up, squinting out to Sirius.

"Hey, sweetie. Yep, he's slightly stressed out", Ron said, stroking the ground next to him, but Hermione didn't sit down.

"Oh", she said and stared for a while, before turning to Harry.

"We need help placing the guests", she said, and the boys got up, grumbling.

Harry looked up at her. "You look very pretty today."

"You too, Harry. Don't try to weasel out of this", she said and Harry groaned and let Dean pull him up.

"Fine, fine. Will you keep an eye on Sirius?"

Hermione nodded and they had no other choice than to help seat the old, grumpy, and straight out hostile Black family, Amanda's polite, patient and slightly shocked family and the blend of friends. Harry, of course, seated most of the Black family. Why did they even show up if they were going to complain on everything from the food to the bride's muggle family? Harry was very happy to find that the grumpiest had been placed furthest away, in the crowded parts.

Harry was pointing people in the right direction, next to Dean, when he walked up. He looked roughly the same, he had the same hair and black, neat robes. He had the same sour look on his face too, as he walked up to Harry.

"Welcome", Harry said stiffly and he looked up straight at his face. Harry looked down, like he was remembering hard instructions. "Um, you can leave the present here."

Snape did and then Harry stared at him dumbly. Why did he have to freeze up like this? Why had Snape come anyway? Somewhere Harry knew he'd been invited, but why had he come? He didn't like Amanda or Sirius, so why hadn't he just ignored the invite?

"Hey", Dean said, saving Harry, placing a hand on Harry's hip. Snape's eyes lingered in his hand for a second too long and Harry knew he'd seen. It was satisfying, knowing that Snape felt the same way Harry had when he'd seen him with the beard guy.

"Where should I sit?" Snape said sharply and Dean offered to show him, walking away to a table in the middle closest to the hedge.

"Hi", a dark haired girl said and stepped up towards Harry, and Harry distantly asked her her name, following Snape and Dean with his eyes.

"Louise", she said and smirked. "Which one are you nailing?"

Harry snapped his eyes back to the girl. "Sorry?"

"Both?" she exclaimed with a high pitched delighted cry. The Black relatives behind her let out shocked gasps.

"Sorry?" Harry repeated again.

"I would prefer the tall, pale one. Much more dark and bad boy. And older too. The other one seems too... I don't know, too muscly and... Clark Kent-ish", she said thoughtfully, dreamily looking over at Snape and Dean.

Harry stared at her. "What was your name again?"

"Louise. A friend of Amanda's. Single and looking by the way, so if you get tired of those two, though I doubt you will, I'm free", she said and wiggled her eyebrows.

Harry looked down at the list and checked her off. "Okay, you're seated by the front."

She looked at him with a blank stare.

"Um, I'll show you", Harry said and shot an excusing look at the others in the line.

"So, do you usually work with showing people to their chairs?" she asked, making strange small talk.

"No, I'm a teacher", Harry said and she let out an amused snigger.

"_Oh_", she said and then waved her hand. "Sorry! I'm working on the 'making everything seem dirty'-thing. Oooh, hors d'oeuvres!" she exclaimed and snatched up something wrapped in bacon from an annoyed waitor.

They sigsagged through the crowd and tables, her rambling on and Harry listening with humor and... terror.

"So, we're here", Harry said. "Hope you have a nice evening."

"Oh, yes. I will", she said and eyed her table companion, Charlie Weasley, with interest.

As Harry walked away he heard her say, "I'm Louise, now why don't you tell me about all those tattoos!", and he was certain that she would have a nice evening.

**A/N: I did have a nice evening. (Said with lots of eyebrow wiggling.) Anyway, tell me what you think! Next chapter will be more wedding stuff, and Harry and Snape actually talk in that one (more than a few lines). **


	22. Chapter 22

**A/N: Yeah, know I said that they would talk in this chapter, but apparently I was wrong. It's hard sometimes… :3 Anyway, enjoy and review (even though I know that this is kind of a boring chapter, sorry…) You can expect an update on Monday or Sunday I think, so don't get too upset!**

Chapter 22

All the guests were finally seated – there were _a lot_ and Harry made his way inside, up to a bedroom in the same hall as Amanda's temporary dressing room. Sirius wasn't as stressed out now, but he certainly wasn't calm either. He was only minutes away from having to walk down there and stand and wait for Amanda to walk down the aisle, so yeah, he was stressed.

"You've got the rings, right?" he asked, for the tenth time, and Harry obediently nodded.

"Yes, I have and when we go down I'll take care of the baby", Harry said and adjusted his bow tie in front of the mirror.

Sirius nodded, not seeming to listen to anything Harry said. "And the baby?"

"Sirius", Harry said and grabbed his arms, "everything is taken care of. All you have to do is be down there and say yes at the appropriate time."

Even that might turn out to be too much to handle for this Sirius, Harry thought, carefully watching his reaction. Sirius' reaction was to burst into tears and start hugging everyone. God, this emotional Sirius was such a pain in the ass.

"Hey, I'm going to go get the baby", Harry said, carefully inching away from Sirius. "I'll see you downstairs."

Harry slipped out of the room, but the hallway was as full with bustling people, preparing the last details as the wedding was near its start. He slipped into Amanda's room and picked up the baby, his food, some clothes, diapers (Ew, Harry thought as he realised he'd have to change his diaper at some point.) and a few of his favourite toys (Why even call them toys, they were just something for him to bite on?).

"And don't worry, he's a quiet little boy", Amanda said and Harry had to agree, he'd been asleep or perfectly quiet ever since Harry'd first seen him.

Amanda looked at him and then ranted on about no alcohol and keeping his eyes on little Remus Moon at all times and keeping him away from flames and sharp edges and knifes (yeah, duh).

Harry smiled, "You're a really great mum, Amanda", and she grinned back.

"Yes, thank you, I know", she said and corrected a strand of her curled hair that had fallen down in her face.

Harry made his way down with the baby to the place where it was all going to happen and shuffled past everyone to his and the baby's place at the front. They had lit the lanterns now, and in the dark it looked amazing, not at all as – Harry had to admit – flashy as it had looked during the day.

Ron and Hermione nodded his way when Harry stood by the front and nervously fingered the box with the rings in his pocket as he tried to keep the baby entertained. He looked down and smiled as the baby gargled and followed a swinging lantern with his eyes. Harry was just starting to wonder if they'd drugged him to keep him calm or something, when Sirius walked down the pale, pink carpet, in a quick pace. He smiled absently and maybe he'd taken something too, he seemed so unnaturally calm that Harry started to wonder.

Harry took a second to gaze out over the crowd and saw Dean talking quietly with a grumpy Seamus, a smiling Neville making small talk with a beautiful and entertained Hannah, Ron softly kissing Hermione, who was giggling, at one table, that weird brunette that he'd seated – Louise was it? – was laughing loudly, probably at some adventurous tale about dragons that Charlie was telling, and then, further away, Snape was talking quietly with some blonde, probably one of Amanda's relatives. Luckily, then the music that had been a soft clinking noise in the background, became louder and Amanda, positively beaming, started walking down the aisle.

Sirius stopped his nervous jumping from one feet to the other and stood still, watching her slowly approach in her glistening, puffy dress. The chatter under the magicked ceiling died out and then there was just the music she seemed to float forward to. She was carrying a bouquet of white roses mixed with lilies and some other flowers that Harry didn't recognise, but it didn't matter. She looked beautiful, and more like a woman than a girl that Harry had ever seen her.

She shot off a happy smile at Harry and the baby, but the baby was sound asleep, so Harry waved slightly and smiled for both of them.

A short speech by the wizard performing the ceremony followed and then they were supposed to repeat what he was saying. The rest of the ceremony went well, Harry had remembered the rings and he hadn't dropped them, nobody made a mistake when they were talking, the baby didn't start crying. Everything was absolutely perfect.

When it was done Harry resisted the urge to whisper, 'hey, little guy, you're not a bastard anymore', to Remus Moon, so he just watched them walk back down the aisle as the gathered friends and family (and unwanted crazy relatives), smiled and cried and clapped their hands.


	23. Chapter 23

**A/N: Hey! So I made a mistake this time too (thought there would be Harry/Snape interaction in this chapter) but no worries! What I did was I mashed chapter 23 and chapter 24 together, so that you could have your dose of Harry and Snape today instead! Hope you like it and extra bonus points to anyone who can spot where the chapters ****meet! Read and review, my dears!**

Chapter 23

Amanda and Sirius had taken over the baby now, and they were sitting, happily chatting and talking baby talk to their son by their table. Harry'd sat down by the rest of his friends, Hermione, Ron and the others, and then he'd gobbled down the food they'd been served by the constantly cranky waitors. The food was tiny portions of some luxurious food that tasted a little dodgy, but Harry managed to get full anyway.

And then there was music and dancing, which Harry didn't participate in, because his intended dance partner was mysteriously missing. So Harry sat by his table, chatting with his friends, taking turns with watching Remus Moon and perhaps getting slightly drunk.

After watching the bride and groom shake it on the dance floor (imagine something that looked like an icecream cone turned upside down and a crow, flapping around in circles), Harry decided he'd had enough and went to put the baby to sleep inside. He had one of those magical baby monitors attached to his wrist, so he'd hear whenever the baby woke up or wanted something. He almost wanted to stay and fall alseep next to him, but decided that would be too anti-social, so he made his way downstairs again.

All those goddamn stairs in the Burrow almost made him croak and when he reached the bottom of the stairs he was panting and sweating so hard that he had to take his outer robes off. He threw them over a chair in the living room where some of the couples invited to the party were enjoying a quieter type of party, involving them pressing every part of their bodies as close as humanly possible to the other person and Harry stumbled out of there in horror, only to find himself going up the stairs again, in search of a quiet corner to mope.

Yes, he felt he was intitled to mope. His date was nowhere to be seen, and he was all alone in this world of happy, snogging couples, and white roses and pink ribbons and wedding cake. Ugh. He burst through the first door he could see and noticed that he'd stumbled into Ron's old room. It was exactly the same as before. Well, except the snogging couple on top of Ron's bed.

Both Dean and Seamus looked up with those, half surprised, half horrified 'caught in the act'-looks.

"God!" Dean exclaimed and Harry thought, 'Well, no, actually, but thanks'. "Harry..."

He sat up in the bed and seemed to wait for Harry to start yelling at him. Instead he said, "You know, this is like the second time I've walked in on people snogging on Ron's bed."

Seamus sat up too, closely examining Harry for any outburst that might come. "It's fine. I'll just leave now and you can, er, keep going", Harry said and snuck out the door.

So. Dean and Seamus back together. That was good, even though it left Harry without that – for some reason dead important – date. He had kind of seen it coming. Dean might have been taken by surprise by this reunion, but for Harry it was clear that he'd only used Harry to get Seamus jealous. Maybe he hadn't meant to, but who cared?

He stumbled through another door, only to find himself face to face with another kissing couple, Charlie and Louise. They looked up from whatever they were doing (Harry really didn't want to know specifics) and then Charlie politely asked him to close the door so he did.

He continued a storey up and then, before opening the third door, pleaded that he wouldn't catch anyone in the act again. He opened the door and he didn't catch someone in the act, but found himself disappointed about who he did find in there anyway.

Harry walked in and shut the door, and Snape didn't seem to mind. He barely even looked up from the book he was reading. Why would you bring a book to a wedding?

"Go somewhere else to get off, this room is occupied", he said without looking up and Harry wondered how many gasping, fumbling couples he'd scared with that line.

"Hey", Harry said quietly and then he did look up, and Harry felt his eyes pierce him even in the dark.

"Hey", he said, not putting his book down, but not leaving Harry with his eyes either.

Harry stepped forward, into the pool of light his lamp created around him, and sat down in another arm chair. Harry didn't know who's room this was, but it didn't seem lived in. The bed was neatly made and the only other furniture was a dresser, a lamp, and the two arm chairs.

"Where's your date?" Snape asked after a few minutes of silence, where you only heard the muffled music from the dance floor outside.

"Oh, he's..." Harry considered lying, but decided against it for some reason. "...he's off snogging his ex."

The ends off his mouth curved up into a small smile that Harry couldn't help but return.

"Bad luck", he said quietly.

"Yeah, maybe for me", Harry said, leaning back in the chair. "So... How are you?"

Snape was quiet for a long time, but Harry didn't look at him. He wondered if he'd get a lie or a truth.

"I'm... better", Snape said and Harry smiled at the honest but still non-revealing answer.

"Good. Me too", he said and closed his eyes, listening to the thudding of the distant music and relaxed.

"Thomas seemed nice", Snape said, a bit too chilly.

"He was. He is. He just... We were never serious. We just decided to go together because we were both without dates and we both had exes to make jealous", Harry said, and didn't really care about telling Snape about it.

"It worked", Snape said, slightly amused now, and Harry smiled.

"I noticed", he said and he knew Snape was looking at him, even with his eyes closed. He could feel his eyes on his body.

He opened his eyes and yes, Snape had put down his book and Harry now had his full attention.

"I should go", Harry said, looking down at the floor.

Snape nodded and Harry went over to the door in three determined steps and closed the door behind him.

He stood leaned against the door for a long time before he decided to go look for another hiding place.

He strolled up another floor and checked on the baby. It was awake and Harry fed him and changed his diaper and then he watched him doze off again. He then occupied himself with counting the books in the bookcases and counting the stars through the window.

Then Harry decided he'd had enough of that and strolled down the quiet hallway, in search for something else to do. He was busy with counting stripes on the wallpaper in the hall when Luna skipped up the stairs and smiled at him. He stopped on 54 yellow stripes and 53 red ones and looked up at her from his place sitting leaned against the other wall.

"Hey, Harry", she said, sat down next to him and looked interested at the wall. "Hiding?"

"Sort of, Luna, sort of", Harry answered.

"From whom?" she asked and Harry smiled slightly.

"No one."

"From what then?" she asked, curious.

"I don't know", Harry said, tiredly. "Life?"

Luna was quiet for a while and then she said. "That's not very good."

"No, maybe not."

"Don't want to dance? Neville is a wonderful dancer, Hannah let me dance with him for a while", she said.

"I'm okay. You can go dance if you want", Harry said and eyed a big spider, trying to climb up the wall.

"Nah. I'm pretty tired", she said and Harry nodded. So was he.

Two giggling girls walked past them, almost falling over Harry as they tried to kiss and walk at the same time. They watched them disappear up the stairs.

"Is that all people do at weddings?" Harry asked. "Hook up?"

"There is also the union between two people's mind, body and soul. But yes, people mostly hook up", she said with a neutral face, and then returned her attention to the spider. "Have you worked things out with Professor Snape yet?" she asked out of the blue.

Harry looked at her and then looked back at the spider, settling with a simple, "No."

"Why not?" she asked.

"Well", Harry said and felt like his next sentence was going to be, 'mommy and daddy still love you very much, but sometimes people aren't right for each other'. "Well, it's hard to explain. We've just hurt each other a lot."

Luna adjusted the wand behind her ear, with a familiar movement and Harry knew she was listening.

"Sometimes we're both hard to understand", he said, and then Luna shook her head and turned to him and said slowly, as if she was explaining it to a child.

"No, you're not. You're both afraid the other one is going to leave. You because there is a history of people leaving you – your parents, for example, who died when you were very young, and Professor Snape because he has a feeling that he is worth less than he actually is, that he maybe doesn't deserve you, partly because of his abusive father that constantly put him down, and partly because of his long servitude with Voldemort. There is also the matter of the age difference which maybe subconciously makes him think that he is not the best suitable man for you. You are both afraid that you will get too dependant on the other and then when they leave you are left with have both proven that you love the other on numerous occasions, but your minds will always find and focus on those flaws, that slight wavering of the voice when the words, 'I love you', are pronounced, the occasional wince when touched, and that will make you doubt each other. The only way to make that work, I'm afraid, is trust. You have to trust that you love each other, and, seeing as you both have trust issues, that might be difficult. You are both also very stubborn, which might be a reason why you are both slow at forgiving and good at holding grudges. Also, I would say that a lot of your problems root from bad communication, as it often does in all kinds of relationships."

Harry stared at her. "Where did you learn that?"

She shrugged. "I've been taking some psychology classes, but it's not really that hard."

"Well..." Harry said and swallowed.

"I'll understand if you want to go to him", she said and Harry was up on his feet in a second, running down the hall.

Then he stopped dead in his tracks and turned back. "Thank you so much Luna, you are an incredible person and I owe you very, very much."

She reached a hand out to the big spider and looked up at him as it climbed aboard her palm. "I know."

**A/N: And this chapter is the first time I have a lesbian couple in any of my stories! Couldn't believe I haven't had any when I have had so many male gay couples, so I decided to even the scores a little. Anyway, hope you liked Harry being all mopey, Snape just being there (heh) and Luna being a bit awesome… I'm so happy right now, I don't have any school for a week, no homework, got loads of fun stuff planned and this story is almost finished… Life is nice, and all I miss are some reviews. ;) **


	24. Chapter 24

**A/N: Hey! New chapter! Next one will come around Thursday, maybe later. Hope you enjoy and please leave a review!**

Chapter 24

Harry stopped outside of the door Snape had been behind before. What if he'd gone home? Or if he'd found someone else that had been alone?

"Well, you're not gonna find out if you just stand here, Harry", Harry mumbled to himself, ignored his stomach nervously trying to jump out his mouth and stepped in through the door.

Snape was still there, reading his book, looking up questioningly.

"Hey", Harry said again, closing the door behind him, leaving them with only the light from Snape's lamp.

"Hey", Snape said again.

"I... I..." Harry stuttered hesitantly. "Um..."

"What?" he asked, but not in the hostile tone Harry had expected.

Okay. He just had to spit it out. That would be easy. Easy, easy, easy, Harry rambled in his head, when he really should be coming up with something to say. Why hadn't he prepared before he walked in? No, he'd rushed in bravely, head first, like the Gryffindor he was. Right, he was a Gryffindor, he was supposed to be brave. He could have used some support from Godric right now, even though he had no idea what he'd do with a sword or something like that.

Harry walked closer instead of talking, taking his time with sitting down next to Snape. "Look..."

Snape looked at him with a questioning look.

"Look..." Harry repeated. "I..."

COME ON, HARRY, his mind screamed at him, but his mouth seemed excrutiatingly slow.

"I'm sorry. Really, really sorry. I've been an idiot", Harry finally said, and in his mind his brain applauded sarcastically at him, shouting out, 'Bra-_vo_. Bra-_vo_.'

Snape looked slightly shocked. "When did you come to this conclusion?"

"Just now", Harry said quietly, closely watching Snape's reaction.

"Well", he said quietly.

"'Well, I've been an idiot too'?" Harry asked, when he realised Snape wasn't going to say anything else.

"Yes", he said, smiling slightly. "I have been."

"And I..." Harry looked down at the floorboards.

He couldn't say it, not if he didn't know if Snape felt the same way, so he leaned over and kissed him instead. There was a thud when the book Snape had been holding fell to the floor, as Snape brought his hands up to Harry's cheek.

He broke away and Harry whispered, "I love you."

Snape's dark eyes drilled into him. "This is serious. This isn't just because you're lonely tonight or-"

"I'm not going to leave ever again", Harry interrupted, and that seemed to be all that Snape needed to hear.

He hugged him tight against him, his hands tangling in Harry's hair. "I've missed you", he mumbled and Harry hummed contentedly against his chest.

"I've missed you too", he answered, sounding fragile, pressing his face into the crook of Snape's neck, breathing in his familiar scent.

Harry had missed Snape's body. He'd missed his scars and the taste of his skin and his dark eyes and his nose. God, he'd missed his nose.

It was like his body knew exactly what to do, like it had spent all that time Harry's mind had doubted, reliving everything, practising, waiting. His hands made their way under Snape's clothes in seconds, exposing more and more of that pale, beautiful skin, that Harry kissed and bit and marked, until he was full of the proof that he was Harry's again.

They moved confidently together, they knew what to do, what was allowed, what was disliked. They knew each other, they knew what the other liked, and still it was never boring. Every touch was charged with all that gathered up longing and relief that they were finally able to touch each other again. It was much better, much _more, _than it had been before. They were stronger now, more sure of the other.

They managed to get in the bed, Snape falling on top of Harry, kissing down his neck, tasting him like he hadn't tasted anyone else in years. In that moment neither Dean or the beard guy mattered, they had completely disappeared from Harry's head like they'd never even existed. Harry and Snape were the only ones who existed, at least now when they were pressed up against each other in the dark, soft bed, meeting in fierce kisses and demanding caresses.

Harry shivered against the cold as he pulled his shirt off and when he had gotten it over his head, Snape's shirt was gone too. Harry reached out an softly put his hands on his chest, feeling Snape's heartbeat under his thin, white skin in the same pace as the distant throb of the music downstairs. Snape closed his eyes as Harry let his hands roam over his chest, sliding over scars and down towards the silky hair above his groin. Snape only had his underwear on now and Harry could clearly see his arousal under the thin fabric, standing up, rock hard, just begging for Harry to touch, to taste.

Harry brought his hand to the bulge and squeezed tryingly, earning a loud moan from Snape.

"Have I already told you how much I've missed you?" he asked hoarsely, and Harry smiled, easing his hand beneath his last piece of clothing, meeting hard, warm flesh.

Snape groaned again, under his breath, his eyes never leaving Harry's hand, that was slowly pumping up and down.

Harry wound himself up by watching Snape, knowing that it was he who made him like this, whimpering for relief.

"No, stop, I want to..." Snape pushed him down gently against the soft linnen. "I want to come inside you", he breathed and Harry nodded vigorously.

He eased Harry's pants down, looking at his cock hungrily, like he'd missed him terribly. He took Harry in a strong, sleek hand and just held him lovingly until Harry let out a frustrated noise. Snape looked up at him with a small smirk and then he licked slowly up his length, making Harry gasp in surprise and pleasure. He rambled something like, 'Yes, just like that', but he wasn't really sure. He was so far away when Snape swallowed him, only feeling that wonderful, amazing, awesome feeling of Snape's warm mouth around him, the slow movements of his tongue, the slight suction, not aware of any noises he let out.

Harry came with a whisper of Snape's name, that he remembered. Before Harry even had time to relax again, Snape was sliding inside him, slicked with his own spit and Harry's cum. He moved slowly, savouring the moment, murmuring about just how much he'd missed Harry, his body, his skin, his hair, his smell, his touch, his words growing more inaudible and breathy the faster and harder and longer he thrust. And then he let out a strangled cry, stilled and then shuddered, emptying himself inside Harry.

He hung his head, his hair covering his face, leaning on his strong arms on either side of Harry, letting his breathing and heartbeat slow down. Harry brought his hands up to angle his face into the light and Snape smiled at him, sweaty and tired.

He kissed him, long and slow, before pulling out and settling next to Harry to sleep.

Had this been all they'd had to do? This was easy. This was a piece of cake. A delicious, delicious piece of cake. All they'd had to do was say the truth and trust that the other one did the same thing.

Harry looked over at Snape, who was lying with his face towards Harry, his eyes closed and his hand wrapped hard around Harry's hand. Yeah, this was easy. There was a lot left to talk about, and clear up, but they had taken that first step. And it had been a good step, Harry thought with a smile, and he didn't doubt for a second that the others wouldn't be just as lovely.

**A/N: I kind of like this sex scene (others have just been crappy to read afterwards, but this one I liked to proof read). A lot of you have been waiting for this, including me, and I'm very happy that we're finally here. I'm so excited (and a bit sad) that we're close to the end of this story, hope you feel the same! Review, darlings!**


	25. Chapter 25

Chapter 26

Harry sat up before he was really awake, turning his head in confusion, looking around at the unfamiliar bedroom. God, had he been kidnapped? No, kidnappers were unlikely to put him in this comfy bed and… He looked down at the sleeping man beside him. No, kidnappers probably wouldn't leave him with a sleeping Snape.

"Right", Harry mumbled when it all came back to him. And then a huge grin spread across his face.

"What are you smiling about?" Snape asked, looking up at Harry and blinking sleepily.

"Nothing", Harry said and kept on grinning, leaning down for a kiss.

Snape smiled against his lips. "What time is it?"

"Don't know", Harry looked out through the window, out to the pale blue sky and the orange sun in the distant. "But maybe we should… get going?"

Snape nodded and then closed his eyes. "In a while."

"Look, what does this mean?" Harry asked, after a deep breath, and really wished he didn't have to.

Snape opened his eyes and squinted at him.

"I mean, should I move my stuff back into your quarters?" Harry let his head fall back against the pillows. "Or should we…?"

Snape shut him up by pressing his lips against Harry, his hands finding their way into Harry's hair.

"I'll do whatever you want me to", Snape said and Harry shook his head.

"But what do you want?"

"I want you", he said, without hesitation.

Harry smiled. "Good. I want you too. And I'm sorry for being so… Indecisive before. But…"

He looked down at his hand on Snape's chest, where the silver ring was still on his finger. "I know this isn't an excuse, but I was insecure and I wasn't sure-"

"It doesn't matter", Snape said, placing his hand on top of Harry's, lacing their fingers together. "I wasn't… I'm sorry too. I'm very sorry."

Harry brought his eyes up to Snape's face. "This is it. We can't go back now, you know. You're stuck with me for life."

Snape smiled. "How terrible."

"Yeah, I know. We're doomed", Harry laughed.

They awkwardly put their clothes on and Harry prepared for the 'walk of shame' they were about to face. He knew they wouldn't be able to sneak downstairs unnoticed, there were too many people there. And who cared really, they were going to find out sometime.

But when they made their way down, Harry still felt pretty awkward.

"Harry?" Ginny asked at the same time when Malfoy said, "Severus?"

And then the people at the table, only the people closest to the bride and groom, (the Weasleys and their various dates, Hannah, Neville, Hermione etc) turned their heads in curiosity and surprise.

Harry felt them staring and inched closer to Snape almost unconsciously and he put a hand on the small of Harry's back. The silence stretched out for eternity, it felt like, until Louise (that he'd helped seat) said a quiet but clear, "Well, good choice."

Harry laughed slowly and then pushed Snape down by the table, taking a seat next to him.

"There are coffee over there and we sent out the twins to buy breakfast", Hermione said and Harry nodded.

"I'll have some of that coffee, please", Harry said and someone passed along two cups of coffee, one for Harry and one for Snape.

Harry had really hoped there wouldn't have been so many people here and then when he looked at his watch he realized it wasn't as early as he'd thought it was. People maybe had work to go to, or they just had stuff to do. Harry sure did, if he and Snape were moving in together (again) he'd want to do it as fast as possible.

They sat together quietly, only a few people making efforts at smalltalk, Harry and Snape being the main source of the uncomfortable atmosphere. Really a 'breakfast of shame'.

"So... When are you going off to your honeymoon then?" Harry asked in a voice that tried and failed to be casual and unbothered.

"Oh, not until tonight", Amanda said and since Harry didn't want to admit that he'd forgotten where they were going the conversation stopped there.

"Look, does this mean you're back together or...?" Malfoy asked, and Harry was surprised because Malfoy wasn't really the one to question things, he usually seemed content to be blissfully ignorant.

"Yeah", Harry said, and he felt like he was some sort of spokesperson for their relationship talking at a conference. Oh god, he thought when he remembered that the papers were bound to find out too. They'd had a field day trying out different scenarios that would have caused a breakup (especially the tabloid 'The Hammer' had been gossiping about everything from pregnancies and adultery) and now they would be delighted at this new turn of events. Shit.

"So you're getting married?"

Were they? "Um, yeah", Harry said and glanced over at Snape for a second. He wasn't smiling, but he didn't look angry either.

"Well, that's swell", Amanda said and beamed at them before adding something (in swedish probably) that made her friend snigger.

"Yeah, Harry that's great", Sirius said, not sounding very excited, but not sounding like he was lying either.

Hermione and Ron both smiled first at Snape and then at Harry and then the uncomfortable silence grew again.

"Hey!" Fred shouted and came rushing through the door, his arms full of bags of sandwiches and anything else they might want. His eyes moved over the silent crowd and then settled on Harry and Snape. "Damn it", he murmured and shouted back at his brother, "I owe you five sickles, George!"

Harry laughed. "You bet money that we wouldn't get together?"

"Oh no", George said, as he pushed past to the table, "we just bet about how long it would take. I guessed under six months and Fred guessed a good eight months", he said with a grin.

"Yeah, it was obvious it would happen sometime, but you have to add in the stubbornness", Fred said and took a bite of some pastry. "Now dig in, people."

/

**A/N: Just a quick chapter, thought we needed to clear some stuff up. Thank you for all the nice reviews and I'm sorry if I haven't had time to answer yours, I try to answer all, but sometimes I just don't have the time! I will though! And please review this chapter too and tell me what you think! It's nearly finished now!**


	26. Chapter 26

**A/N: **Sigh.

Chapter 26 (Epilogue)

Harry sat up in bed like a zombie, or at that hour in the early morning he at least felt like one. He stared at the cold, empty spot in the bed, his fuzzy, tired head finally figuring out that something was missing.

"Damn it", he mumbled and rubbed his face with his hands before he stumbled up through the dark, managing to knock down a few half-full boxes as he went along, grabbing his robe off the hanger by the door.

Harry stumbled through through the corridor, leaving the bedroom door open. He was probably in the basement, where they'd set up his potions lab or work room or whatever they could call it. Whenever he couldn't sleep, that's where he went. Jokingly they had agreed to have it in the basement, because if he blew it up the (surprisingly expensive) house wouldn't be too harmed. (Mostly it was because they'd both imagined a nursery on the top floor, and the basement was as far as possible from any dangerous substances, but they hadn't said that out loud.)

Harry slowly droned down the stairs and stopped in the kitchen to grab some of the freshly made coffee there. They had only lived here a few days, but the coffee pot had been the first to get unpacked.

He made his way down to the door to the cellar under the stairs and didn't bother to be quiet about it. They didn't have a lot of neighbors anyway, so.

Snape was huddled over some notes by the flickering candle light that Harry really didn't think could be good for your eyes. He didn't notice when Harry walked in, so Harry coughed slightly and he snapped his eyes up.

"I thought you were going to tell me when you couldn't sleep", Harry said with a small smile, as he leaned against the desk.

"I didn't see any reason why I should keep both of us awake", Snape said and scribbled down one last note before he let the quill levitate back into place.

"Don't be an idiot. What was it this time?" Harry asked and Snape shook his head.

"Nothing, just..." Snape leaned back in his chair. "You left me in the Shrieking Shack and I was dying."

"But I came back, didn't I?" Harry said with a small smile.

"Yes. Yes, you did", Snape said and with that sweet look on his face, Harry couldn't help kissing him.

He put the coffee cup down on the flat wooden desk and sat next to it, so that he had one leg on each side of Snape's chair, Snape trapped in it.

"So", Snape kissed the inside of Harry's left thigh, "what's the schedule for today?"

"The family's coming over to check out the house, so we have to spend the morning cleaning out all the boxes and putting them away", Harry said. They had slipped into calling the Weasleys, Sirius, Amanda, Remus Moon, Hermione, Ginny, Draco etc. just 'the family', since it just got too long to say all those names.

"Oh, very exciting", Snape said, leaning his head against Harry's leg. "Nothing else?"

They had made an interview that would be in the paper this morning, but Harry didn't mention it. They didn't get the paper yet anyway.

"Nothing, so we could just go back to bed? If you want?" Harry asked but Snape just closed his eyes and kept his head leaned against Harry. "Or we could stay here..."

"Isn't there something else we need to do today?" Snape asked and Harry squeezed his eyes together as he remembered.

"Right, the gala thing. But that isn't until tonight", Harry said and his stomach tightened a little. He had been dreading this night. He'd never liked big crowds and award shows and all that. This one was going to be held in memory of the people who died in the war, on the third year anniversary of the Battle of Hogwarts, so it wasn't a happy occasion either.

"Can't we stay at home?" Snape asked and Harry gave a small laugh.

"No", he mumbled and Snape shifted against his leg.

"Why not? I don't enjoy listening to old men babbling about the war like it's something admirable and neither do you. And besides", Snape said, giving a suggestive kiss to Harry's leg, "we could have better things to do."

"You're bribing me with sex? Really?" Harry asked and Snape smiled. "No, we have to go. We'll just have to get through it."

"And how do you suggest we get through it?" Snape asked, one of his dark eyebrows raised in question.

"Well, I'm planning on getting very, very drunk on firewhiskey", Harry said, figuring that was a pretty good plan.

Snape smiled. "Well. You're a sweet drunk. I'm not."

Harry agreed. And Snape hadn't drunk any alcohol since Amanda and Sirius' wedding, so it would be stupid to start again now.

"Well, you can think about all the naughty things your sweet drunk will do with you when we get home", Harry said and Snape's smile widened.

"You're bribing me with sex?" Snape mimicked Harry. "Really?"

Harry laughed. "Yes. And I'm not ashamed to admit it."

Snape kissed him again, slowly and languidly and Harry felt absolutely wonderfully happy, for once in his life. No bad memories or thoughts, or thoughts at all really. Just Snape, his slow and easy breathing, his lips moving against Harry's, and the knowledge that Snape loved him and always would.

**A/N: **The End? Because I have their whole future figured out, with kids and their names and who they marry and what _their _kids are going to be called. And I have all these sweet scenes figured out and I know all the characters littles stories... Gah! I even made a family tree! (Which I'm thinking about posting on my DeviantArt account, keep a lookout.)

Anyway, I do think this is the end, at least for this kind of story. Maybe I'll do some drabbles, some one-shots of their future life. What do you think? Leave a review/small comment (because this is your last chance!) and tell me what you think and I'll love you even more for it!

I want to thank my friends and dear helpers _TimeyWhimey_ and _PurpleDragonFlower_ who (reluctantly) read a few of my chapters. (Especially TimeyWhimey, who reviewed several times.) And I couldn't have made my spelling improve even a tenth as much if it wasn't for Pages and its spellcheck. What a lifesaver!

And lastly a huge thanks to everyone who read and appreciated and commented on and put my little story on their favorites or alerts list! Every little review make my day, they really do! =)

And after this amazingly long author's note, (240 words) I just hope you all had as good a time reading as I had writing and I hope you'll keep checking out any new stories I might post! / NN


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